Tiptoe Through the Dark
by TaylorPaige24
Summary: This is where it all began. As siblings, the Curtis family has had their fair share of fights, but after the death of their parents, it gets to be too much for Ponyboy and Danni Curtis. How will they survive the transition of Darry going from big brother to parent? Book 1 of 5. *Hiatus*
1. It's Time

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders._

* * *

I can't fall asleep.

There's too much going on.

Mom and I got into an argument before bed. She's not letting me go with her to the city next week.

Maybe it's the age, but lately we've been fighting a lot. So right now I'm not speaking to her.

Soda's an hour late now. Mom's spitting mad, but Dad sent her to bed before she could get any angrier. He's downstairs now waiting on Soda to get home. Dad's the one you want waiting up for you when you're late. In most households it's the other way around but not here. You know you're in real trouble when Mom's the one waiting up for you.

I've only heard my father raise his voice a couple of times in my life time. He has a lot of patience. A lot more than Mom.

Darry got home five minutes ago. I know because I heard him and Dad talking about where Soda might be.

Darry never worries much about Soda. He knows him well enough to know that where ever he may be, he's smart enough to stay safe and out of harm's way.

Pony's beside me in his bed. That's one thing that bites, being thirteen years old and still sharing a room with your brother. No matter how hard I try, it's impossible to get the boy smell out.

I know he's up too. Neither of us is ready to fall asleep. The only reason we're up here is because Mom and Dad are already hacked and we don't want to make it any worse by being up passed bedtime.

That's another thing that bites, having a bed time at thirteen. None of my other friends have bedtimes, especially not Angela Shepard. She could not come home at all and no one would really care.

I guess I am lucky though to have parents who'll stay up and wait on me when I'm late, ready to kick my head in too.

The screen door slams open. "Hey, Sodapop. Where ya been?" Dad asks.

I know Darry's still down there because I haven't heard him come up yet.

"Sorry, Dad. I lost track of time. There was a wreck down town and it had traffic backed up for miles."

Dad half sighs, half yawns. "You need to call when you know you're going to be late, Soda. You know how much your mom and I worry when you guys don't come home on time."

"I know, Dad. I'm sorry I didn't call," Soda says softly.

There's movement and I know it's probably Dad getting up to go to bed. "Alright. I'm pushing your curfew back an hour since you were an hour late."

Soda usually complies with Dad most of the time. Soda has heard Dad yell probably more than any of us. He went through a wild phase a few months ago and Dad had to set him straight pretty fast.

"Ok. Night, Dad. Tell, Mom I'm real sorry."

"Goodnight, Sodapop. Night, Darry."

Soda and Darry head upstairs, Darry asking Soda where he really was and Soda telling Darry about a party at Buck's. Dad probably knew where Soda really was. That's why he didn't ask for details. We've all heard stories about Dad's childhood, and they match Soda's personality to a T.

The story is that Steve was driving and had gotten drunk and Soda, being the only one well enough to drive, couldn't figure out how to start up Steve's truck.

"You shoulda' called me at the Dingo and I would have picked you up," Darry tells him.

"You were on a date. I didn't want to interrupt in case...you know, you got lucky," Soda jokes and I hear the sound of Darry hitting him over the head. "C'mon, Dar! I was on a date. Calling your big brother to pick you up ain't real boss."

Darry huffs. "Well having an eleven o'clock curfew ain't real _boss_, now is it?"

They both part ways, one going to the bathroom, the other going to the room they both share.

"Dan?" Pony whispers through the darkness.

I sit up. "Yeah?"

"Do you think we'll grow up to be like Darry and Soda?"

We can only hope we're that lucky.

* * *

Mom works every Saturday at the hair salon sweeping up hair and shampooing clients. She says she really hates it but we all know she lives for the day she can relax and gossip with her coworkers.

Dad cooks Saturday breakfast every Saturday. We've been doing it since we were babies and we actually enjoyed watching Saturday morning cartoons. Most of the time Dad would join us, making Mom mad because she was the one who ended up cleaning up the pancake batter mess we left.

Since then, breakfast has gotten later, and cartoons are rarely ever watched.

Soda comes into the bathroom as I'm brushing my teeth. "You still mad at Mom?"

"Yeah," I answer, my mouth foaming with tooth paste. "I don't get why I can't just go with her. She's only making me stay here so I can study for that stupid math test that I'm going to pass anyway."

He shakes his head. "Cut her some slack, Dan. It ain't the end of the world."

It sure did feel like it at the time. I hang my head, feeling guilty for overreacting. I make a mental note to apologize to her when she gets back tonight.

"You got work today, Dar?" Dad asks once we sit down at breakfast.

Darry shakes his head, stuffing his mouth full of blueberry pancakes. "No. I think I'm gonna go down to the park though and work on my game some."

Ever since Darry blew his knee out his senior year, he's been trying everything he can to get a scholarship somewhere to play ball like he had planned. What he didn't plan was for Billy Hanes to run him over like a tow truck.

"What about you, Dan?"

I shrug, getting another pancake. "I might go to Angela's."

My Mom was the one who had a heart for Angela. It was odd how she kind of took her under her wing and my dad was the one who didn't support the friendship. That might have something to do with the night Angela took me to the lot and got drunk and left with some boy. I was alone and had only my dad to call to pick me up.

He never told Mom about that night. I always wondered why.

Dad doesn't say anything, just growls a little under his breath. "You'd stay there the whole time?"

"We might go to the park." I only say that because Darry will be there with his friends and he can vouch for me being there. Angela will probably want to go check out all the guys there anyway.

"Don't try to hang out with us. You girls are too young for anyone there."

I roll my eyes. I still don't understand why Darry has such a problem with me talking to his friends or, heaven forbid, hanging out with them. It wasn't like any of them were that cute anyway. Soda lets me and Pony hang out with his friends.

Darry soon leaves and it's just the four of us left.

Ponyboy's already out somewhere with Johnny and Steve's already here. His eyes are red and he keeps rubbing his temples. I wonder if Dad notices that. I'm sure he does. He just chooses not to point it out.

"I can always count on you folks for having a hardy meal in the morning."

Dad's favorite out of our friends. No one has figured out why. Dad is the one who busted Dally when he first moved here for breaking a shop window and trying to steal cigarettes and candy bars.

Since then though, they've had a weird relationship with each other that no one understands.

"What are you doing up so early, son?"

If any other man called Dally son, he'd kill them dead.

Dally picks up a handful of pancakes, not bothering with a plate. "Ain't gone to bed yet."

"You got a bed?"

Dally shrugs, using the excuse that his mouth is too full to answer. Dally would never admit that he had nowhere to stay. Dally never admits to anything really.

"Anyone home?"

I know by the smell who it is. She always wears too much perfume. "In here Ang!"

Her heels click against the floor as she struts inside. "Hi, Mr. Curtis."

Dad gives her a small wave, not bothering to look up from his paper. It does bother me that he doesn't like my best friend. My father rarely dislikes anyone. I mean, he likes Dallas Winston!

"Dallas," she hisses, leaning against the counter beside him.

He gives her a sneer. "Look what the devil dragged in."

"The phrase is 'look what the_ cat_ dragged in'."

"Not in your case, sweets."

I swear my dad is actually laughing. He does a good enough job to hide it from Angela though. "Play nice, Dally."

"I'm always nice." He finishes off his mooched breakfast. "Hey, Mr. C, guess who I saw at Buck's last weekend."

"Who?"

"Peaches and Cream over there," he says, motioning to me. "And this funky smelling broad."

Angela snarls, "I do _not_ smell."

Dad raises his eyebrows, focusing on me. I'm too speechless to defend myself. "Oh, is that so?"

"No!" I shout almost too quickly. I start to panic. I know if my parents ever caught me there, they'd have my head. Soda isn't even really allowed there and he's sixteen. "No."

Steve chuckles beside me, along with Soda. "Yeah, Mr. C, he ain't lyin'. I saw 'em there myself."

I look to Angela to help defend me, but she's too busy making kissy faces into her compact mirror and getting in a syrup fight with Dally that she's losing.

It looks like I'm on my own. "I've never been to Bucks! I swear!"

"Don't swear."

Soda snickers, getting up from the table wit his plate. "Awe, come on, Dad," he says, defending me. "Like I'd ever let my sister be caught dead there."

"I don't know, Sodapop," Dad says, glaring at me over top of his paper. "It looks like she's lying. Her face is awful red."

I can tell he's joking now. It still doesn't stop me from being pissed that Dally even brought that up.

"Dad..."

"I'm kidding, honey. I know you well enough to know you wouldn't be caught dead there." He gathers up the dirty plates off the table. "And I know these two hoods well enough to know that they lie through their teeth."

I give Dally a dirty glare. Not that I could ever give him a mean enough look like he could give me.

"Hey, listen," Dad says, calling our attention, "I'm taking your mom out of town tonight for dinner. I want you all home by nine. I've already told Darry and he's going to watch ya'll tonight."

Soda and I share an eye roll. "We don't need a babysitter, Dad."

"I'll babysit," Dally suggest. "I'll tuck you in nice and tight, kids."

"No," Dad says quickly. "I'm not going to argue with you two. Home by nine. Tell Ponyboy."

* * *

After breakfast Angela sweeps me away to the park. She's got a cigarette in-between her fingers that she's not smoking. I swear she only has cigarettes so everyone will think she's cool. She's trying to impress the older boys Darry plays ball with. Most of them are middle class or Socs, none of which will have her, but she still presses on.

Unlike Angela, I actually like watching the boys play ball. She only sees their naked chests but I've always been a fan of football. I think that has something to do with growing up with three brothers and being so close to my dad.

Darry always jokes that I got the sports brain in the twin gene pool.

"What are they so excited about?" Angela asks, making a twisted face.

"They just scored. They won. It's kind of a big deal."

Not to Angela Shepard. She can't even hear me now. Shirtless guys are coming toward her and she's on the hunt.

"Your big brother know you're smoking them?" Darry, probably purposefully, blocks her view. He stands with his hands on his hips, a smug smirk on his face.

Angela's face twists again. "Who do you think I steal them from?"

Darry's gaze turns to me. "You better not be smoking them. Mom and Dad will skin you alive."

"Trust me," I reassure him, waving away the smoke from my face. "The smoke from hers is enough to make me stay away forever."

Darry never took up smoking really. He tried it but it never took. Soda didn't even bother though Soda doesn't bother with a lot of things. He got so sick once from drinking. He was throwing up a storm when Darry came in and had to help him back to bed. Soda has said he doesn't need a drink to have a good time, but Soda also keeps his promises to his family.

Darry leans against the picnic table Angela and I are perched on. He takes a big drink of his water while some of his friends try to talk him into playing another game.

"Darry?" I elbow him lightly. "Can you drive me and Ang to the Dingo?"

He scowls. "No. I don't have time."

"Why?"

"I just don't."

"Where are you going?"

He really hates it when I ask questions. Darry's a kind of one answer, conversation over, type of guy. "I already told you, I have stuff to do. You can walk. It's really not that far."

Angela Shepard doesn't like to walk.

She leans forward, looking past Darry. "Hey, Scot!"

The blonde guy standing under the tree looks over at us. He played with Darry in school. He lives in the same neighborhood as us and has always had eyes for pretty girls. "Yeah?"

"Can you drive us to the Dingo? We'll even buy you a _milkshake_."

Darry yanks us both down before he can answer. "Danni, you need new friends."

* * *

The inside of the Dingo is all vinyl booths and checkerboard linoleum. It smells like ten years' worth of grease, cigarettes, burnt coffee, and fresh French fries. You can always count on fresh French fries at the Dingo.

We take the booth near the window so Angela can see all the boys that walk in. This is her favorite hunting ground.

As soon as I put our order in Angela's head hangs. "I'm _dying_ over here, Danni."

I don't want to ask, but I do. "Why?"

"I haven't been on a date in months. I can't live in my house. All anyone ever does is yell. I need out."

Angela's mother is on her third marriage right now and by the sound of things, she's never home.

I want to tell her that she's being a drama queen, but that will just make her angry. Angela doesn't have the best home life, but it's better than most people's. Hell, look at Johnny. I want to tell her she has a lot of never to complain but our food comes instead.

I can hear the sizzle of the French fries as Angela gets tears in her eyes and has a look on her face that says the world is ending.

She calms down once she starts drinking her milkshake and I try to lighten the mood by telling her we'll go look for boys this weekend though I probably won't be looking that much. I only do it for her and because she's my best friend.

"Jesus Christ."

I turn around to see what she's looking at. Terry, a boy two years older than us, walks into the Dingo. Angela has had eyes for him all year long. He's the only boy she hasn't worked up the nerve to talk to.

I groan. I can see it coming. "He's Curly's best friend. It's a bad idea, Ang."

She doesn't listen. She's already up. "Hey, Terry. Come sit with us!" And he does. "This is Danni."

He gives me a half nod, more interested in what Angela's doing that me. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing," she says, moving her body towards his, seductively.

I want to shout at her and shake her and tell her she's only thirteen and she's acting like she's twenty. This is the way she's been since she went to camp this summer and lost her virginity. She thinks she's one of those girls now and I hate it.

I prop my head up against the window as I watch it turn to night. Angela's still talking to Terry and I'm stuck talking to his twelve year old brother.

"You're Ponyboy's sister," he says.

"Yeah."

"He's nice."

"Yeah, he is."

I shoot annoying glares over at Angela but she can't even see me. Terry has her full attention and I've just been officially ditched. If I knew that I wouldn't get a lecture, I'd call Darry to come get me, but I'm in no mood to listen to him.

Luckily, I don't have to wait much longer as Tim Shepard walks into the diner.

I've seen Angela fight with Tim. It gets pretty intense and I remember her telling me that he has hit her before. She's hit him too but she acted like this was child abuse. Once, he literally locked her in her room for three days.

He scares me. That's for sure. Angela never admits to fear though. She never admits defeat either.

"Get in the truck!"

I'm already in the truck. Angela is still in the diner, making a scene with her older brother. I'm embarrassed for the both of them.

I start to think of what it would be like if Darry were like Tim. Darry probably would have knocked me out by now and thrown me into the truck. Either that or call Mom to come and pull me out by my hair.

I'm so glad Darry is who he is.

Eventually, Tim gets her out of the diner and I listen to the bickering the whole way home.

"You're so dead when we get home."

"Fuck you."

"Don't make me kick your ass in front of your little friend."

"I dare you to do it."

It goes on like this until Tim pulls up to my house. "Thanks for the ride, Tim," I say, working up the nerve to get out of the truck.

He gives me a small nod, and then his eyes spit venom at his little sister. Angela can say all she wants about not being afraid of Tim, but fear is all I see in her dark brown eyes.

"Tell your dad thanks for helping me out the other day."

I bite my bottom lip. "Okay."

He speeds off, his breaks hissing against the pavement and I wonder what my dad would be doing with Tim Shepard.

"It's about time you got home." It's Darry who's yelling. I can feel my ear drums shake. Darry has a heavy voice on him.

Soda's not home either. I know that because his laundry basket is still on the sofa.

Darry isn't much for lecturing. He's more up for just telling Mom and Dad and letting them deal with it later. Sometimes I wish he was as cool as Soda was and just realize he was my age once too. I don't recall many times that Darry did let me or Ponyboy off the hook for something. He did for Soda a lot.

There was one time. It was last year. I had just turned twelve and for my birthday Angela decided to get me a pack of cigarettes and teach me how to smoke.

Just after the first puff I was coughing so loudly that Darry ran outside to see what the matter was.

I was crying so hard before he had a chance to speak. I guess he realized how upset I was about it all. Darry was a softy for tears...most of the time.

I never noticed how my stories of getting into trouble always involve Angela in some way.

Ponyboy is lying on the sofa reading. He doesn't move as I lay down on the other end, putting my legs on his legs.

Its three hours before I wake up again. "Where are Mom and Dad?"

The knock on the door is when we all knew the answer to that question.

* * *

**A/N: **So after much thought, I've decided to do a rewind story! As you can see, it's taking place right after the Curtis parent's death and will continue on as so.

I'm taking suggestions on what you guys would like to see in this story. So please leave a review with some things you want to see.

I'm also doing a dark Angela story soon so be on the lookout for that. If you have any suggestions for that please throw them my way.

Also, I will probably continue DMT at some point soon. So don't give up on that.

Thank you for reading and don't forget to review!


	2. Sun Hasn't Died

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

* * *

The next morning my head's heavy.

If this is what it feels like to be hung-over, I don't think I ever want to be.

I'm the first one up. There isn't any room in this bed. I'm not sure how we all ended up here. This was the first place we went to and then we all started crying. All of us except Darry. He stayed outside for an hour after we found out. When he came back his eyes were red, but he'd never admit to crying.

Soda was the one that got us all to stay in Mom and Dad's bed last night. It felt like the safest place to be, all of us together.

I sit on the end of the bed and run my hands through the knots in my hair. It still doesn't seem real.

They're all snoring. Their bodies are sprawled out in all different directions on the bed. The snoring is a nice sound. It's something other than crying.

My stomach growls and I head into the kitchen.

It's a little past eleven. I'm not sure what time we ended up falling asleep last night. It feels like I haven't slept at all.

I start by cooking eggs. It's about the only thing I know how to cook besides toast. I make that too. Next I make coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Mom never liked me drinking coffee. She said I was too young...

"I see you couldn't sleep in there any longer either?"

It's Darry who enters the kitchen. His hair is matted and clumped and his eyes are red and dark. He doesn't look like himself. He's always collected and sharp.

My lips sit on the edge of the coffee cup. I feel mute, unsure of what to say or if I can say anything.

Darry goes for the coffee. Like me, he wants to sleep and needs it, but he just can't take it. "I didn't know you could cook," he says, observing the eggs.

I nod. "Mom taught me some."

The mere sound of her name makes me shake and I stop myself from thinking for a few seconds.

His face softens a bit and he feels it too. He moves and stands behind me. I know he's thinking of what to do. What to say. He can't come up with anything either and eventually he gives up and takes a seat at the kitchen table. Deep down, I wish he'd say or do something. Anything.

"You ok?" His voice is crusty and sore. He coughs a few times a repeats himself.

I pour the egg yolks into the pan and stir. "No. You?"

"Not even close."

Soda and Pony are still sound asleep in the next room. I can hear their heavy breathes. "Darry?"

"Hmm?"

My throat is raw again. "Never mind."

I go back to cooking my eggs when the back door beside the fridge slams open. "Good morning, Curtis family!"

"SHHH!" Darry leaps up, putting his hand over Two-Bit's mouth before Soda and Pony have a chance to hear and jump up. They need sleep and when they're asleep, there's less to talk about. Darry and I are the silent ones.

Two-Bit slowly removes Darry's hand from his mouth. He notices the tenseness of the room. "What?"

I turn away. Thinking of Darry telling him makes my stomach hurt. Before I know it, small tears land into the pan and I wish I could control them but I just can't. It feels like I should be out of tears by now.

"What?" Two-Bit repeats himself once he sees me. "What's going on? This a bad time?"

Darry nods. "Yeah. Hey, why don't we go outside and-"

"No," Two-Bit says sternly. "Tell me now. Darry, what's going on?"

Darry tells him softly. Soft enough so I won't hear everything he says. I don't know how he can do it. How he can retell the story without breaking down. That's Darry though, he's the strong one.

"Danni-Bear?" His hand brushes my shoulder. "I'm...I'm..."

"Sorry?" I say through tears.

He nods his face dropping. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's about to start crying too. "Yeah..._sorry_."

"Thanks."

Darry clears his throat. He puts his hands in his pockets and leans against the back door. "Two-Bit..."

"Yeah, I'll let you guys... I'll be at my house if you need anything. Anything, ok? You just name it and I'll do it."

"Thanks, Two."

* * *

There are too many feelings in this house. Darry's been on the phone all day calling relatives and giving them the news. Soda and Pony are joined at the hip and I just feel left out. I always have when it came to doing things with my brothers. It's obvious I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm the only girl. It's not their fault I feel left out most of the time. It's just the way it is. I just...I just need someone to hold me right now.

Angela opens the door. "Danni?"

"A-Ang..."

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Her voice jumps and she pulls me into the house. "Danni...talk to me."

I try controlling my sobs for a few seconds. I can't bear to say the words. "M-My parents..."

"Danni..."

"T-They're dead."

* * *

Her hand strokes my hair. We've been in her bed for two hours now, just lying here while she talks and I cry and she holds me. Angela may make me angry sometimes, but she's always been there for me. I can always count on her to do this for me. She's my rock, and I need her right now.

Darry probably doesn't know I'm not home. They're all too busy to notice.

I sniff, drying my eyes. "I just can't believe it."

Her finger traces my spine. "I know. You can stay here as long as you want, Dan."

I know I'll have to go home eventually. I don't want my brothers to worry about me with all this other stuff going on and I know we all need each other. It's just hard to be around them. I want to cry every time I see their faces. I want to cry every time they cry. I just can't handle being around them.

The front door opens. There's a knock on her bedroom door. "Hey, you seen my shoes?"

"Go away Tim!"

He's standing in front me and I'm facing him. I've been friends with Angela for years and I haven't really had a real conversation with her brother before. Every time I come over it's always 'Angela here?' 'Yeah, upstairs.' I've never understood Tim. He's so mysterious and he's always kind of scared me.

Once he sees me crying though, his face softens up. "What happened?"

"I said go away!"

He, as always, doesn't listen to Angela. He takes a few steps forward. "Huh?"

He's asking me now, ignoring his bratty little sister's screams. I swallow, my throat feeling dry. I don't think I can tell anyone else. He keeps staring at me, and I'm not sure if it's concern in his eyes, or just curiosity.

"Your brother know you're here?"

I shake my head.

"Tim, you're such an insensitive ass hole," Angela snaps. "Her parents just fucking died and you come in here acting all high and mighty. Get out and leave us alone!"

He focuses on me, his mouth dropping. "Mr. and Mrs. Curtis?"

"Yes! Go away!"

I sniffle, small silent tears running down my cheeks.

He grinds his teeth. "Angela, my room, now."

Angela doesn't move. She tightens her grip on me. I start to remember last night and how angry Tim was with her. I wonder what happened between them.

"Now!"

This time, she gets up, huffing about how rude he is. She tells me she'll be right back and she shuts the door behind her.

I put my hands under her pillow and try to get comfortable. I almost doze off when I start to hear the screaming. "Don't fucking yell at me like that in front of people! I just asked you what was going on!"

"And I told you! They died! Why do you care anyway, Tim?"

I sit up on the bed, listening. There's a pause before Tim responds. "I care, ok? They were good people. Goddamnit, stop screaming at me. I'm pissed enough at you. So that's why she's here? What'd she say happened?"

"Just leave it alone. Stop acting like you care when you don't. God, I'm so sick of you. Yeah, she's here because her parents died. Now go away!"

I hear Tim stumble backwards from Angela shoving him. Then I hear a sharp smack followed by a door slamming.

I sit patiently, waiting for Angela to come back. I hope it was Tim that left. He scares me and after he just hit Angela, I'm not sure I want to be around him. I always knew Tim and Angela hit each other, and this wasn't anything out of the norm, but why? Angela pushed his buttons all the time. Why did he hit her over something like this?

Why does Tim care so much about what happened to my parents? He didn't know them.

_He gives me a small nod, and then his eyes spit venom at his little sister. Angela can say all she wants about not being afraid of Tim, but fear is all I see in her dark brown eyes._

_"Tell your dad thanks for helping me out the other day."_

But he did know them.

Angela comes in shortly, sniffling and holding back tears. She crawls back under the blanket with me and starts bitching about Tim and how it didn't hurt that he hit her and that she didn't care.

She did care though. She always cares. She wanted Tim's acceptance. Always has.

Is this what my life is going to be like from now on with Darry?

* * *

"Hey, where've you been?"

Soda and Steve sit on the porch. I dry my tears really fast so Steve won't see them. I'm almost angry that Soda brought him over, but then I see that Soda's eyes are just as red and puffy as mine are. Soda doesn't care to cry in front of people. Unlike Darry, he's realized crying isn't a weakness. It's a sign that you're alive.

I walk up to them. "Darry in there?"

"Yeah," he says softly. "He's been on the phone all day. Where'd you go?"

I turn my head over to Steve who's blatantly staring. I don't want to answer Soda, so I focus on him. "Hey, Steve."

He nods. "Hey."

"Danni..."

"Angela's."

I'm surprised Soda isn't with Pony still. I know why Pony isn't out here with them. Steve doesn't get along with Pony and Pony tries to stay clear whenever possible. I'm not sure why Steve has a problem with Pony except that maybe he's jealous that Soda is so close with someone other than him. Soda, like me, just needed someone else right now. Someone who couldn't cry when they heard what happened and just let you be the one to cry and be comforted.

I rub my head. This has been one hell of a day.

"You wanna sit with us?" Soda asks, scooting over a little.

I shake my head. I've never been one to hang around with my brothers and their friends. Soda needed to be alone with Steve so I was going to give him that. "Thanks, but no. I gotta...I gotta go do some things."

It still feels the same. I can smell Mom and Dad. It's hard to believe they won't be back. This isn't them and they're not here. They're never coming home. Soon this smell will fade and I'll forget it. I'll forget the way they sounded, what they look like. I'll forget them. They're dead. They're never coming home.

I can't cry anymore. I'm finally all out of tears.

Darry calls me. "Hey, what do you like on your pizza?"

"What?"

"Pizza," he says, pressing the phone to his ear. "What do you want on it?"

"Oh. Pepperoni is fine."

He walks back to the kitchen and starts to talk into the phone. "Yeah, I want a pepperoni pizza and a meat. Yeah. Thanks."

I look around the house. Someone's been cleaning. "Where's Ponyboy?"

"Up in his room." His voice is hoarse. Probably from talking on the phone all day and bottling up all his feelings. I just wish he'd open up once in a while. "Sleeping I think. He was when I went up there."

He was faking. He doesn't want to talk to Darry right now. I don't blame him. For some reason, Darry just makes things feel worse. He acts as if nothing has happened.

Before I can head up the stairs, Darry calls after me. "I need to talk to you for a second, Dan."

"Yeah?"

He sits down at the kitchen table, rubbing his face. "Um...I know I shouldn't be asking this now, but it needs to be done. The cornier called. He needs an outfit for Mom and Dad. Dad I can handle, but Mom..."

My hearts drops to my stomach. I can't believe I'm hearing this. "You're right; you shouldn't be asking me this now."

"Danni..."

"I'll do it."

"Are you-"

I shake my head. My voice starts to rise. "No. I'm not ok, Darry. Stop asking everyone that. We're not ok. _You're_ not ok. Mom and Dad are _dead_!"

He jumps up out of his seat, ready to attack. "Don't yell at me. I'm doing the best I can!"

I sigh and immediately feel bad for yelling at him. He's right, he doesn't need this right now and in his own weird little Darry way, he is doing the best he can.

"I just need some space, ok?"

* * *

When the pizza comes we all sit down at the table and eat. It's Soda's idea. Everyone else wants to go to their rooms and be alone but Soda thinks we should all be together during this time. So here we are, eating in silence because no one knows what to say without crying or making someone else cry.

Pony looks up from his food. "Darry?"

"Yeah?" he asks with his mouth full.

"What's...Never mind."

Darry swallows before speaking. "No, spit it out."

Soda and I watch, wondering what he's going to say. Pony hasn't really spoken since we heard the news. We've all been wondering what's been going on in that head of his.

"What's going to happen to us now? I mean...with Soda, Danni and me."

Darry grumbles a little, taking another bite of pizza and pausing. "You're going to stay here."

"Really?" Pony asks, surprised.

Darry glares at him. "Yeah. Is that so shocking? You think I'd throw ya'll away or somethin'?"

Soda jumps in to save Pony from Darry's thrashing. "No, Darry, of course not."

"I'm not having you guys be brought up in some home," Darry says sternly, throwing the rest of the pizza down. "I already spoke with someone about it. Let's drop the issue. I don't want to talk about it."

Pony speaks up again, "But, Darry-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!"

It's not soon after that he storms out the back door and we don't hear from him until we're asleep.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry this is a little short and it took a while for me to update. I hope you guys haven't left yet! Thank you for reading and please, please leave a review!


	3. Ash and Dust

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

* * *

**Fall**

"Darry!" I shout, throwing dirty clothes here and there onto more piles of clothes. I can't see the pizza stained carpet anymore and it smells like something died in here. "Where are my black socks at?"

Darry's busy looking for something himself. We're all scrambling around the house. "Check the laundry!"

"I did!" I shout back. I drop the dirty underwear that belongs to one of my brothers when I realize is my hands. I hold back a gag. "It's a mess in here! I can't find them! They're not here."

"Ask Soda."

Soda comes into the living room, stuffing toast in his mouth and a glass of milk in his other hand. "Ain't got a clue."

I shake my head, kicking a pile of dirty clothes. I wasn't going to find my socks today or any day.

Ponyboy comes into the living room from upstairs. He's frantic too. He starts flipping over the cushions on the couch, causing Soda's milk to spill. "Hey! Watch it!"

"Do you know where I laid my book at?"

Darry comes into the room, sweat beads on his forehead. He looks through old papers on the coffee table. "I threw it in your room. I tripped over the damn thing. You can't just throw stuff down in the living room!"

"You _threw_ it!?" Ponyboy shouts as he runs back up the stairs.

Soda gets up, shaking toast crumbs off of his shirt and onto the floor. "Darry, you seen my shoes?"

"No!" Darry shouts, still frantically looking for whatever it is he's trying to find. "Glory guys, we need to get on some sort of schedule here. Danni, I thought it was your day to do laundry."

I walk past him. "No, it's Soda's and it's his week. We do it by week."

"It's not my week!" Soda yells from the kitchen.

"Then it's Ponyboy's," I say.

Ponyboy shouts from the top of the stairs, "No it's not."

"Jesus! Everyone freeze for five seconds!" His voice is loud enough to make us all stop and stare. "We need to figure some stuff out here, alright?"

We all take a seat where ever we're at. "Like what," Soda asks.

"Look at this place!" Darry points at the mess around us. "We need to do better than this. Social services will kick my butt if they drop by and see all this shit."

I wrinkle my nose up as the smell hits me again.

"Ponyboy, you and Danni clean this place up while Soda and I are at work."

Pony and I both groan. This is Darry's first order as our..._guardian_. I hated that word. This was our life now, as weird as it may seem, Darry was now in charge of us, and he made all the rules and dished out the punishments.

That's another thing I cannot picture - Darry punishing us. He was our older brother, not our father.

"You all need to start back to school too," Darry says softly with more concern in his voice. "I know it's only been two weeks, but the social services wants ya'll to start soon...So I told them you'd be there Monday."

Soda's eyes go wide. "Monday!?"

Darry nods, picking up one of his shirts off the floor. "I'm not arguing about it. C'mon, we're gonna be late."

If Darry was going to be in charge from now on, he probably needed to get used to arguing about things. There was sure going to be a lot of arguing before Ponyboy and I turn eighteen.

* * *

I got a bike last year for Christmas. It wasn't much - found at a junk yard and fixed and painted up by Dad. I hadn't gotten it out recently until now. Ponyboy and I both got one. Ponyboy got Soda's with fresh new paint on it. It was a pretty big deal in our neighborhood to have a bike. When I was a child, it was my dream to have one.

We have to keep the bikes behind the house and hidden behind the bushes so they won't get stolen. It had happened to Darry once. I was little at the time, but I still remember that as the first time I really saw Darry cry and then really saw him angry. That seems like an eternity ago.

I need fresh air. I decide to take my bike out to town and ride for a while. I don't want to go back to school. I've never really fit in there. Angela was my only true friend. I've had others here and there, but Angela was the only one who stayed.

Resting my bike against the building, I go inside the gas station and get a pop.

These past two weeks haven't been easy. Darry rarely spoke to us about bills and papers and social services. He kept a lot of things to himself, not even letting Soda in. Soda was still just shy of seventeen and Darry, I guess, didn't want him to have this on his plate like Darry had to. I often forget Darry too is still a _teenager_. He was now our guardian. I couldn't get over that word. I hated that I even had to use that word or see Darry as anyone other than my brother.

I had my worries. I worry a lot about where we will be next month and the month after that. There are so many things to worry about: money, social services, our health, how we're going to pay for things, how are we all going to stay together.

Things were never going to be the same again. I knew that.

This was my life now. Things are going to be hard.

The funeral was nice. Darry pretty much planned the whole thing. I picked out Mom's outfit and the flowers. Soda and Ponyboy did the reception at our house though none of us really attended that. We all ended up in Mom and Dad's room until everyone just left. Angela came an hour late. I haven't spoken to her since then. I'm still angry with her. The one time I actually really needed her, and she wasn't there.

Dally was gone. He left as soon as he heard.

_Darry still hasn't come back yet. Soda says he just needs a while to cool off and we should all give him a break right now. He says he'll talk to him later, but Ponyboy and I know it won't matter. Darry won't even open up to Soda most of the time; let alone when something like this happens._

_I stand in front of the sink, doing the dishes from the night before that no one did. My head aches from crying all day, so I try not to right now. It's only going to make it worse._

_"We got the chips!"_

_The front door swings open and footsteps come towards the kitchen. I look behind my shoulder to see Dally and Johnny, ready for their Sunday night poker game._

_They are both talking and laughing. They start moving the table around, not paying any mind to me. I can't tell them. I can't tell them what just happened. I can't say it out loud._

_Dally's the one who finally notices me. "What?"_

_I shake my head, looking away so he won't see my tears. I can't do this._

_Luckily, Soda comes up from the basement, shocked as I am. "W-what-"_

_"I'm kicked all ya'll's asses tonight!" Dally whoops. He sits down, shuffling out the cards. "When's Steve-o and Two-Bit getting here? I'm ready to get fucking rich tonight."_

_Soda looks at me, his mouth open. I shake my head._

_Johnny notices us. "What's wrong?"_

_Soda swallows, turning back to face them. He opens his mouth to say something, but he's soon cut off._

_"He's upset because he knows his ass is mine tonight!"_

_I slam the plate down in the sink, breaking it into tiny little pieces. They all look up at me, and I stare at the bloody water in front of me. I can't take this anymore. I can't take Dallas Winston's freaking mouth any more. I wanted them to just leave. This wasn't a joke. It was real._

_Soda's at my side. He pulls my hands out of the water and grabs a rag. "It's alright," he whispers._

_"Shit, Curtis," Dally says, smirking. "Hey, where's Pops at? He going to play tonight? I'm taking on everyone tonight!"_

_I sniffle, causing Johnny to start to notice what's going on. "What's wrong? Where are Ponyboy and Darry at? Why aren't your parents here? T-There always here on Sunday nights, right?"_

_Soda holds my hands as he tends to the cuts. "Yeah," he says softly. "There ain't gonna be a game tonight."_

_"Why?" Dally asks, turning back around in his seat. "Jeez, Curtis, you cryin' over some shitty little cuts? Thought you were tougher than that."_

_Soda frowns. "No," he snaps. "She's crying because our parents are dead."_

_They both freeze. Dally has his mouth open in disbelief. "Shit, Soda, that ain't funny. I can joke about my parents being dead, but man-"_

_"I ain't joking," Soda says firmly. "They died last night."_

_Johnny's face falls. "Shit, Soda. W-Where's Ponyboy?"_

_Soda nods towards the stairs. "Upstairs in his room. You should go up there. He'll probably want to see you."_

_Johnny doesn't move right away. He wipes his eyes a few times before putting his hands in his jacket pockets and shuffling towards the stair case._

_Dally's still sitting at the table, staring at Soda and I. Soda's face softens again, but he doesn't cry. He, just like the rest of us, is sick and tired of crying, and he doesn't have any more tears left to give._

_It takes a minute for Dally to realize this isn't some big joke. "Fuck!" The table flips over, chips and cards going all over the floor. The last thing we hear is the back door slamming shut, and Dallas Winston disappearing into the night._

Two-Bit's throwing a party at the house tonight. He calls it a party though none of us are in the mood to party. He says it'll be good for us to be around friends and have a good time for a little while. His mom's cooking everything, so they food will be good. Everything else, I'm not so sure.

I thought about calling Angela, but decided against it. I didn't want to see her either right now. She hasn't called since the funeral. I love Angela, but I hate her most of the time.

I sip on my Coke and watch the cars go by. I like being by myself. Most people don't - like Soda or Angela. I like to be alone with my thoughts and just sit back and watch the world around me. It keeps me sane.

* * *

"I got the beer!"

Steve's the first one here. Two-Bit stressed to us not to do any work but Darry made us clean the house anyway. It was probably more because we didn't know what was living under the trash, not because he cared what his friends thought of our house.

I sat down the pile of plates on the table. No one would probably use a plate anyway.

"I'm going up to my room," I say as I start to leave the room.

Darry stops me. "You're not going to stay down here for the party?"

I shake my head. I liked my brothers friends, I really did. In a way, they were like my brothers. I've known them long enough. They probably know more about me than most people. I just don't want to be down here with my _brother's _friends. They'd say they were my friends too, but let's face it - I'm their friend's baby sister.

"Stay," Soda says, taking my hand. "It'll be fun. We need fun."

He was right, but fun wasn't at the top of my to-do list right now.

Johnny and Two-Bit show up soon after Steve. Two-Bit's idea of party games includes poker, and Go Fish. I guess Two-Bit probably hasn't been to a party that didn't have booze in a few years now.

I can tell they're holding back their normal guy conversations. There's been a string of awkward silence five times now. Maybe it's the mood right now. We're forbidden to bring up Mom and Dad, but that seems like the only thing I've been talking about for two weeks. It's all I think about.

Soon, I slip out the back door.

I sit on top of the picnic table in the back yard. My dad built this for us. We'd have cookouts out here almost every day during the summer. He was so proud of it.

Tiny tears roll down my cheeks. I try not to think about going to school on Monday or the future or going back to reality.

The front gate opens, and footsteps come towards me.

I swallow as he spots me. He has a smirk on his face. "The party getting too crazy for you, Curtis?"

He sits down beside me, looking out at the streets.

Dally didn't come to the funeral. He was the only one who didn't show. I kind of expected him to, but I remember Steve telling us that Dally doesn't do emotional stuff like this, and that he won't show up. He said that Dally runs from his problems, and he wasn't coming back any time soon.

And he was right.

I wipe my face so it doesn't look like I've been crying. "Why aren't you in there?"

He shrugs, looking in his pockets for something. "Ain't much for parties. 'Least parties with no broads or booze." After a minute of searching, he finally finds what he's looking for. He pulls the pack of cigarettes out and takes out one.

He notices me looking. He pushes it towards me. "Want one?"

I shake my head. I've never smoked before. I had plenty of opportunities to. My parents smoked and occasionally Darry would too. Plenty of kids in my grade smoked all the time. Angela even did it. I never had an interest.

Dally starts to laugh. "You ain't ever smoked, have ya?"

I don't want to seem like a baby and say no, but he can see through my lies. "No."

He pulls out another stick and his lighter. He places it on my hand. "Try it." He notices my resistance and nudges me with his leg. "Don't be a wimp, Curtis. Just fucking do it. It ain't gonna hurt ya."

My hand shakes as I put the cigarette up to my mouth. My hands fumble with the lighter, unsure of how to use it. Dally leans over, taking the lighter from me, and lighting it himself.

Smoke fills my lungs. I'm not sure of how long I'm supposed to suck, but soon I begin coughing uncontrollably.

"Shit." Dally laughs, patting my back. "Not all at once, Curtis."

It takes me a minute to stop coughing. Once I stop, I see Dally looking at me.

"Here," he says, leaning forward again. He places his hand on my chest. "Breathe in here. Do it slow...then exhale."

I do exactly what he tells me, feeling the smoke roll off my lips.

I look down at the cigarette in my hands, and I can't believe I just smoked it. "Where were you?" I decide to ask.

He blows out smoke, making a large cloud over our heads. "Here and there."

I decide not to press the issue. I learned a long time ago not to push Dally. He's never gotten angry with me really, but I've seen him get really angry at other people.

I knew a lot about Dally. Dally spent a lot of time here, growing up as basically one of my brothers. He and my father had a close relationship, and sometimes Dally would just stop by to see my dad. I've never seen Dally react to authority the way he did my father. He respected him, and that was a lot for Dallas Winston.

Putting the cigarette back up to my lips, I think about what could be going through his brain. What was Dally thinking about? Did he cry over my parents?

"Dal, you're here," someone says from the back door.

I don't turn around to see who it is, but I feel Dally jump down beside me. He winks before turning his back to me. "Later, Curtis. You tell your brothers I taught you how to smoke, and I'll end you."

The door closes and I'm left out here alone to cry in silence.

It was going to be a long fall.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm taking this story in seasons. We're starting off in fall and then going on from there.

News for all you LTWYL fans! I have currently edited/rewrote half of it so far. Please take a look at it again if you haven't already! Also, please check out my other story_ Child Psychology_.

Thank you all for reading, and please review!:)


	4. Heartbreak Dawn

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

* * *

"Shoot!" I shout from the bathroom. I bury my head in my hands and take a deep breath.

Angela is outside the stall, fixing up her make-up. School's almost out for the day, and here we are. I'm having a crisis in here, and there's no way I can go back to class and focus on algebra. This has to be one of the worst weeks of my life. I wouldn't say the worst because that happened already. This was just another one for the books.

I feel like crying, but I don't because that's such a baby thing to do and Angela will just yell at me. It really isn't that big of a deal. Not to her at least. The more I think about it, the worse it gets in my head.

I come out of the stall and start washing my hands. "Are you sure you don't have anymore?"

"I gave you my last tampon that I have, Dan," she says, pushing her lips forward in the mirror. "You're just going to have to tough it out and ask Darry for some money."

I sigh, drying off my hands. "He's not going to give it to me unless I say what it's for...and I can't."

She rolls her eyes, putting her lipstick back in her purse. I'm not sure why she wears lipstick. She's thirteen and has the reddest lips of anyone I know.

"You're going to have to eventually. It won't be that bad."

Yes it will. My mother always bought me this kind of stuff. How was I supposed to explain this to Darry? I wasn't totally sure he knew that I started my period.

I thank God that I did start it right before Mom and Dad died. I didn't have to tell Darry about it, which I was thankful for. I've only gotten my period four times. I wasn't sure how all this stuff really worked. I'm not even sure I'm using these tampon things right. I've never used them before. I was NOT going to ask Darry about any of this stuff though. That's what I have Angela for.

The bell rings and she puts her bag over her shoulder. "I get Tim to buy me stuff all the time."

I arch my eyebrow at her. "He actually _buys_ it for you?"

I could not picture Tim Shepard buying tampons, not even for his little sister.

She nods, grabbing my hand as we walk outside together. "What about Sodapop? Could you ask him?"

I could, but I knew Soda didn't have much money. He doesn't make a lot working part time and he uses what he does make to buy guy things and take Sandy out on dates. I didn't want to take his money from him.

I shake my head. "This isn't going to go well."

She tightens her grip on my hand. "I'll go with you to talk to Darry. Either that or you can bleed to death, the choice is yours."

I ponder that. Could I_ really_ bleed to death?

* * *

Darry's home from work when Angela and I get in. He's in the kitchen, eating a sandwich because he probably worked through lunch to clear more hours. He's always trying to get more hours these days.

I swallow as Angela pushes me towards him. "Hey, Dar."

He's reading the paper, and he doesn't look up. "Hey. How was school?"

"Fine," I say softly, looking down at my shoes. They had holes in them. I made a mental note to ask for new one soon. "Um...I...Can I have some money?"

He gazes up at me from his sandwich. "What for?"

I look to Angela for help, but she's not listening to us. She's making faces into the toaster, looking at her make-up and making sure it didn't get messed up on the walk home.

I look back down at my shoes. "I need to get something at the drug store."

"What?"

This was really embarrassing. I could feel my face turn dark red. This is worse than Sodapop and Ponyboy finding out about me getting my period. I didn't tell them, but we shared a bathroom. They saw the pads and I don't think they'd ever seen one before. I soon had to tell him. This conversation with Darry might beat that conversation embarrassment wise.

I swallowed. "I need to get some...girl things."

He takes another bite of his sandwich, and goes back to reading his paper. "I'm not giving you money so you can buy lip balm and nail polish. You'll have to save up your allowance."

Angela is still making faces in the toaster, and my face gets redder. I want to give up, but I know I need this stuff.

"Darry," I say, calling his attention back to me. "It's not for that...It's for something else."

He looks up again, getting annoyed with this conversation that's going nowhere. "What then? Just tell me."

"I..." I can't get the words out. It's like my throat has suddenly swelled up and I can't speak. "I...I..."

Angela huffs. "She needs tampons, Darry. _Tampons_ because she's on her period. Alright? Any more questions?"

Darry's face goes pale and his face drops. He looks at Angela and then back at me. I nod to tell him that she's right and that's what I need. My face is on fire and I want nothing more than to cry and run out of this room.

"Shit," Darry says, standing up and getting his wallet out. "Sorry. I-I didn't know..."

I take the money quickly when he gets it out. "It's ok. Thanks. I'll be back for dinner."

I run out of the house, Angela laughing all the way to the drug store behind me.

* * *

Darry is busy most of the time now. He's juggling the job of mommy and daddy and primary provider. Asking Darry if he wants help is like trying to get a convicted felon to say he's guilty. Soda helps here and there. He says Darry just feels like he was left this responsibility to take care of us and he has too much pride to let us help.

Ponyboy and I are learning to ignore Darry. We have been for a few years now, ever since Darry went into high school. He got caught up with friends and girls and football and Ponyboy and I lost touch with him after a while. It makes me think though. I don't really know who Darry is anymore. In the past few weeks we've talked more than we have in years.

Darry won't talk about Mom and Dad anymore. Every time it's brought up, he quickly changes the subject. I think he wants everything to just be normally again and have us forget that the accident didn't even happen.

I can't say I blame him. I want to forget too, but it's not that easy.

"Can you go to the store for me?" Darry asks me.

I gaze up from my homework. He pushes a list and a couple of dollars at me. "Right now?"

"I forgot to go. We don't have any food."

I push my books out from in front of me and take the money and the list. "This all I need to get?"

"Can you..." he trails off, "Can you get me some chocolate? You can get you some too. Just don't tell Ponyboy and Soda. I really need some. Can you do that? Like a Mars bar? "

I smile, shaking my head with the way he asks me. It's as if he's almost afraid of asking for chocolate. "I don't think chocolate is going to hurt you, Dar. But yeah, I can get you some."

His face brightens and he ruffles my hair. "Thanks, kiddo. Take your bike and be home before dark."

Darry has told me what to do before. He's my older brother so of course he has he's bossy spells some times when he thinks he can tell me how to behave or to stay out of his room. I'm used to it. It's just that before I didn't have to listen to him if I didn't want to. It didn't feel this weird either. This time, I have to listen to him.

I wonder what would happen if I didn't? I couldn't picture Darry ever punishing us. Once he locked Ponyboy in a closet when he was five and Darry was ten, but now things were a little different. How would Darry punish us? I'm sure he will eventually, right? Locking us in a closet might not work anymore though.

I ride my bike to the nearest store. There isn't much on the list. Just some pasta and noodles for dinner and some milk. Judging by the way Darry's wallet looks, I'd say we don't have enough money to go on a big shopping spree. We'll be eating pasta until the apocalypse comes.

"Oh shit!" There's a big bang as my buggy is hit. "Shit, I'm so sorry...Danni?"

I look up and find a pair of brown eyes looking at me. I've seen them before, just never up this close. "Um, hey."

"You're in my math class right?" he asks, starting to remember me. "You sit in the back with that girl with curly black hair. I'm Randy. I just moved here."

I nod, moving my buggy out of the way so people can walk by us. I'd seen Randy a few times in the halls and during class but I've never talked to him before. He seems nice enough, but I can tell by his clothes who he is and what group he belongs in.

"I heard about your parents," he says lightly, and I wonder why he's still talking to me. "I'm real sorry."

It's been a month and I'm still not used to people saying their sorry. I don't think I ever will get used to it. "Thanks," I say lightly. "I..."

My cheeks flush. Look: Randy Adderson was a pretty smoking guy. I know it's incorrect to refer to another human as being smoking, and especially wrong since I'm a girl, but I can't find another word to describe him better. And Randy isn't exactly hiding the fact that he's flirting. I suppose that's what it is. Is it? Or is he just being nice? I'm not really experienced in this. I've never really had a boy flirt with me before - one that was this good looking anyway. Randy was probably the nicest – prettiest - whatever you're supposed to refer to a good looking boy as. Is it good looking? Randy Adderson was good looking. No, that's not good enough either.

I suddenly become aware of what I'm wearing - an old stained t-shirt I found on the ground and a skirt that's too big with me that I also found on the ground. My hair is a different story. Most girls have started using an iron to make their hair straight and pretty. Angela has tried to teach me a few times but I never had interest.

Instead, on this day, I'm wearing a tight ponytail with a black band and no make-up what-so-ever.

I usually make my own clothes. I have ever since my mom taught me how and I become self-conscious of what I was wearing compared to the other girls. They were Socs and everyone told me not to dress like them, but I couldn't help it, they had pretty clothes, and they were pretty. We couldn't afford nice clothes so I settled for making them.

I start to wonder why Randy is talking to me and why he's being so nice. Doesn't he know the rules? Of course Socs hook up with greasers all the time but no one really talks about it and they never go on dates. It's more of a one-night-stand that everyone just forgets happens until the next time around.

Randy's new. Maybe he doesn't know the rules. He has to know the rules. The rules are everywhere, aren't they?

Randy stares at me. "You alright?"

I nod, growing even more embarrassed. What if this was some kind of joke? At any minute was someone going to come around the corner and start laughing at me for buying into this?

"Hey," he says. "You ready for that big test on Tuesday?"

"No," I say, trying to loosen up. "I haven't gotten a chance to study. It's going to be real hard too. Are you ready?"

He shakes his head. "Far from it. Hey, do you want to study together after school tomorrow?"

This is defiantly a joke now. Randy Adderson, a Soc, is asking me to study with him. Maybe that's where the big laugh is supposed to happen. I'll get to his house and then everyone will jump out and laugh at how stupid I am.

Randy is staring at me again. I have to give him an answer. I have to say something.

"Hey, Danni!"

I breathe out, relieved I'm saved. "Hey, Sodapop," I say as he and Steve come over to us.

Steve eye-balls Randy right away. Steve has a very strong hatred for Socs of any kind. He never trusts them. He's the one who always picks at me for wanting to dress like them.

Soda puts his arm around my shoulder once he spots Randy. "What's going on here?"

"This is Randy," I say. "We were just talking about school."

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Just talking?" He's asking Randy not me, and Randy looks like he's almost scared.

Randy gulps and I can hear it as he starts to sweat a little. "Yeah. That a problem?"

"Maybe," Sodapop says, shrugging. "You see, this is my little sister, and I don't like seeing her get hurt. So it's my job to make sure she doesn't by some Soc boy who just wants a cheap laugh at her expense."

I wince at how mean that sounded.

Steve leans on his left leg, not taking his eyes off Randy. "So what do you want?"

Randy holds up his hands. "We were talking, really. Just talking."

"Why?" Soda asks, pressing even more. I want to tell him to stop but I want the answer too. "Socs don't just talk to greaser girls without wanting something in return."

Randy arches an eyebrow. "You're a greaser?"

"Yeah?" I say. How could he not know that? It was obvious, especially now that my brother showed up literally covered in grease and oil.

Randy shakes his head as he's getting a stare down from all of us. "Listen, I don't know how these stupid rules work, but I'm in class with Danni and she's smart and I thought maybe she'd want to study with me. That's all."

So this wasn't flirting. My face drops at that. I don't know what I was expecting.

Sodapop tightens his grip on my shoulder. "That all you want to do?"

"Yes. I swear."

I gently move Soda's arm away from me. "It's ok," I tell him quietly.

"Do you want to study with him?"

I blush. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Maybe I was just getting caught up in the fact that Randy was cute and actually paying attention to me. Whatever it was, I don't pass it down. "Sure."

* * *

Sodapop walks beside my bike on the way home. Steve is still with him and they won't drop what just happened back there.

"Of course you'd say yes," Steve grumbles. "You want to be a Soc."

"I do not."

Soda nudges Steve with his elbow. "Knock it off."

"You can't tell me you like the fact that she's going over to a Soc's house," Steve challenges. "You know how they pray on girls like her. If you think for one goddamn minute that any of that was genuine, then you're a damn fool."

We go on in silence for a little while. Steve had a point. Randy was only thirteen though and those type of things don't happen until you're like fifteen or sixteen. Besides, Randy didn't seem like the type of guy to take advantage of me. I can read people pretty well and Randy really did seem like he just wanted to study.

Soda brushes up against me, getting my attention. "What's he like at school?"

I shrug. I don't pay much attention to the Soc boys. "He's new. He doesn't have a lot of friends yet. He reads a lot in the cafeteria by himself normally. Some of the other Socs hang out with him some."

Soda looks down at the ground, thinking it over. I can tell he doesn't like this idea, but he knows he can't do much to stop me from going. The truth is though, if Soda told me not to go, I'd probably listen. When my brothers told me to do something, I typically have always done it.

Steve is the one who tells Darry when we get home. I'm furious at the thought of him trying to get me in trouble or lectured or whatever Darry is going to do to me. Steve has always been like this. He likes watching people get in trouble...well, watching Ponyboy and I get in trouble.

Darry eyes me. "That true?"

"Yeah," I answer. "Soda met him though and he thinks it's ok."

Darry looks to Soda to clarify and he does. "Okay. As long as you...I guess call if something happens...and be home by dinner...and get all your homework done."

I almost laugh at the list. Darry is trying. He's really trying at this. "Seems fair enough."

"Ya'll are all dumb," Steve growls from the sofa. "Just don't come crying to me when this shit turns bad."

He didn't have to worry about that. Steve Randle was the last damn person I was going to tell anything to.

* * *

**A/N: **I know it's looked down upon having a Soc and a greaser talk like that, but I tried to make it believable. In my mind, I don't think the Soc and greaser rules really came into place for people until later when they got older and cared more.

I appreciate all the reviews that were left. If you are reading, please do leave a review if you want an update! :)

Also, LTWYL is rewritten! So please go check that out.


	5. Could It Be Another Change?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the_ Outsiders_.

* * *

"What did you get for number six?"

"The Alamo."

Randy's house is about what I expected. I saw him move in actually. It was one of the days I needed to get out of the house because Mom was on a cleaning binge and so I took my bike across town. I always like going to this neighborhood. The houses were always big and nice and white. Every one of them was so white. Then the lawns. The lawns were perfectly groomed and there were rose bushes everywhere and big trees. It was beautiful here.

It was a Saturday when Randy moved in. I passed on my bike, watching the big boxes go in the house. There was a woman organizing everything. She was wearing old pants and a stained shirt. She looked like she worked for the moving company and I thought surely she did until Randy introduced me to his mom.

She wasn't like most Soc parents I'd met.

When I was a kid, about nine or ten, it didn't matter who you were friends with really. I had two friends when I was in grade school. They were twins like Ponyboy and me. We used to play at recess all the time. Then one day they invited us over to their house. You can imagine their parents surprise when they saw us and the way we were dressed.

We were foreigners to them and they didn't approve. The sleepovers stopped and Ponyboy found other friends, but I remained friends with the twins until middle school happened, and I was no longer cool enough to hang out with.

"This test is going to be hard," Randy says, taking a bit of the cookies his mother brought over to us.

It's so cliché. I mean I saw it on TV all the time. The stay at home mom baking cookies for her kid's study dates. I just never expected it to actually happen to me.

My mouth waters as I take a bite of cookie. I only have two on my plate. Randy's gone through five but the last thing I want Randy to think is that I'm a pig...or greedy...or under feed.

"So, what's it like living with your brother?"

I shrug, turning the page in my book. "It still hasn't hit me I guess. It just feels like he's babysitting us until one day..."

His head falls as he reads my voice. "Yeah. It must be..."

"Rough?"

"Yeah."

Awkward silence washes over us. I feel like I've made Randy feel uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable still for anyone who asks, and _everyone _asks. It's a small town and people know what happened. We get the obvious questions every day. Mom and Dad were friends with a lot of people in town and they always want to know how the little orphan kids are doing.

There's no real way to explain how we're doing or what it's like to lose your parents. It's a thought most people don't like to think about. No one can ever prepare for that moment. Sometimes I wish I had known they were going to die on that day. Maybe then I could prepare myself for their death instead of it coming out of nowhere.

That's what hurts the most, and to an extent, I don't think it's fully hit me. I still wake up some mornings, not knowing where I am right away, and thinking they are where they should be downstairs making breakfast. Then, a few seconds later when I fully wake up and realize where I'm at, I start to get sad all over again.

Randy's arm brushes against mine and I realize that he's staring at me.

"Um," I say, quickly tucking my hair behind my ears and going back to work. "So on to number seven then."

Randy complies, going back to his book too. Still, I feel like he wants to say something to me - anything to make me feel better. What he doesn't know is that there's nothing that can be said. There's nothing I want to hear.

An hour goes by and Randy's mom goes to the store and we're alone.

Just as we're wrapping up the homework, the doorbell rings.

Randy gleams as he gets up to get the door. "Hey! Come on in. There's someone I want you to meet."

Footsteps come towards the kitchen. My head slowly rises up, and my heart drops to my knees.

Randy reaches me, three people behind him. "Danni, these are my friends-"

"Michael and Marilyn," I finish for him, partially speaking to myself.

It's been years since they stopped talking to me - since I became a stranger to them and just another person to have to suffer their wrath at school. I never thought I'd ever come face to face with them again.

I swallow, unsure of what's going to happen next. A part of me says to grab my books and my bag and run out the door. Another part of me, a stronger and less sensible part, tells me to stay and see what happens.

"We know each other," Marilyn snaps, crossing her arms over her chest. "What are you doing over here?"

Her tone is sharp and to the point. It's nothing I'm surprised about. The last time Marilyn spoke to me was when I was twelve and I asked her why I wasn't invited to her birthday party. That's when she explained the rules to me. She couldn't be friends with me. She couldn't be seen with me. She couldn't speak to me.

"Randy invited me," I tell her.

"Why?"

Randy's eyes dart to her. "She's my friend."

I stand uncomfortably in the middle of the kitchen. Everyone has their eyes on me and I feel my face growing hot. I think about what Angela would tell me to do because she's the strongest person I know and right now I need to be strong like her.

"Hey, Danni."

My eyes go to the other twin, Michael. "Hi."

Randy shifts, obviously uncomfortable too. He nudges the guy beside him. A guy I don't recognize. "This is Sam. Sam, this is Danni."

He, unlike the twins, is friendlier towards me. He holds out his hand for me to take. "How do you do?"

I hesitantly take it. "Fine."

He keeps his eyes on me once his hand falls back to his side. He's watching me - observing my movements. I can't tell if he's planning for an attack, or he's studying me to see if I am.

Soon, he breaks his stare, looking to Randy. "Hey, Ran, your parents home?" Sam turns his back to us, going into the living room.

Randy follows him with his eyes. "Just left."

"So you got the key to the liquor cabinet?"

"Maybe we shouldn't-"

"Found it!"

I gulp. Now is the time where I should leave. Or call Darry. Wasn't I supposed to call him if something bad happened? This was considered bad, wasn't it? Of course it was bad. This was stealing and drinking, neither of which I've ever done.

Everyone files into the living room, and I feel my legs moving for me though my brain begs me to stay.

Sam is bent over the cabinet behind the couch, searching through bottles. Michael kneels down too and starts searching through the fancy titles and colorful labels. Marilyn is behind them, her hands now on her hips. It's apparent that she's still unhappy about me being here, and I expect her to voice that at any second.

Sam sneers, standing up straight with a clear bottle in his grimy hands. "Do you want some, Danni?"

"No...I'm alright," I say softly.

Marilyn smirks, taking the bottle from Sam. She stares at me as she unscrews the cap. "She's a baby, Sam. Danni doesn't drink. She wouldn't be caught dead doing something so bad."

Sam clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, eyeballing me again. "Doesn't look like a baby to me."

My face is red hot and I get even more uncomfortable. I look to Randy for help and he sends me an apologetic smile, but he doesn't do anything to stop Sam from staring or Marilyn from drinking.

It's then that I realize what Darry once told me - some guys don't have any balls at all.

"No, she doesn't," Michael agrees, taking the bottle from his sister and taking a swig.

I twist and turn, trying to think of a good enough excuse for me to leave.

Sam brushes past me, taking the bottle from Michael and sitting on the solid white sofa. "How old are you, Danni?"

"Almost fourteen."

"You're _fourteen_?" he gapes. "We're all almost fifteen."

I nod, already knowing that everyone in my grade is older than me. "I skipped a grade I guess."

"Well, aren't you smart?" Marilyn mocks, sliding in nice and cozy beside Sam on the sofa.

I inch closer towards Randy, still wondering why he hasn't saved me yet. Why should he though? He doesn't know me. After all, he is a Soc. He's just like the rest of them. He's no different. Why I ever thought that, I don't know.

They're all looking at me as if they expect me to say something. To avoid the awkwardness, I do. "Not really. They moved my brother up and my parents insisted we stay together. Are you...are you going to drink that?"

"Uh, yeah?" Marilyn says, taking the bottle back in her hands.

I turn to Randy, only talking to him. "Maybe I should go."

"Danni, don't."

It's too late. I brush by him, no longer wanting to talk to him. I go into the kitchen and get my things. "No, it's okay. I need to be home for dinner anyway."

"Danni-"

"See you at school, Randy."

I breathe easy once I'm outside. I'll say this once and I'll never say it again - Steve Randle was right.

* * *

I avoid Randy at school. He tried to speak to me once, but Angela scared him off I think. She does that to people. When people see me with her, they don't bother me like they do when I'm alone.

It's been over a week since Randy and my study date and things at home aren't getting any better.

"Leave it to you two to get sick at the same time."

"They're twins," Soda says, adding a small chuckle. "They do everything together...even puke together."

I groan as Soda passes me another warm cloth to put over my head. This isn't the first time this has happened. It used to be an ordinary occurrence when Ponyboy and I were kids. Soda was right, we did everything together and shared the same things. It was only natural we got sick at the same time.

Darry's standing at the end of the bed. "Do you think I should take them to the doctor?" he asks Sodapop.

"Dunno. I suppose."

Darry's flustered. He runs his hand down his face. "I better make the call. I wanted to ask someone about those nightmares Ponyboy's been having."

I rise up, looking beside me at Ponyboy's pale face. "You've been having nightmares?"

"Sometimes."

I don't know how I didn't know that. Ponyboy and I told each other everything most of the time. Why wouldn't he tell me something as important as that? I share a room with him. A better question is why Darry knows. Ponyboy doesn't tell Darry anything. They aren't close. They never have been. So why does Darry know and I don't?

Darry places his hand on my forehead. "You're real hot. You should go to sleep or something."

"Or something?" Sodapop asks.

Darry shrugs, backing away from the germs. He wipes his hand on his shirt and groans. "I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I don't know how this stuff works."

"Mom always made soup," Ponyboy mumbles out.

Darry sighs. "Soup? Oh, yeah, soup. I'll put some on."

Darry disappears out of the room. I think he's been looking for an excuse to leave for a while now. He's not good with this kind of thing. It makes him more uncomfortable than anything.

Sodapop stays with us, casually talking to Ponyboy. Ponyboy talks to Soda about not wanting to miss school and Soda quickly changes the subject. Sodapop has always hated school and he doesn't understand why Ponyboy likes it so much. It's not that Soda doesn't fit in, he has plenty of friends. Soda's one of the most popular students at the high school.

Soda's always struggled with school. It used to be a bigger problem about a year ago. Mom was very concerned about his grades and thought about sending him to this military school so at least he could make something of himself. That's what she was worried about - Sodapop turning out like her and Dad.

In the end, Mom couldn't part with one of her children so Soda stayed. We couldn't afford a tutor, so Soda did the best he could with Darry's help and he ended up passing with a C.

"Here," Darry says, coming back up with two steaming hot bowls. "I tried to do it like Mom did."

Ponyboy takes it in his hands, sipping on the edge. I let mine sit on the nightstand, untouched.

"What do you think?" Darry asks, giving a pleading eye to Ponyboy.

Ponyboy sits it aside next to my bowl, rolling over on the bed. "Not as good as Mom's."

I wince as he says those words. Sometimes Ponyboy just doesn't understand what he says and how they could hurt someone else. This has been going on all week with Ponyboy and Darry bickering. I can tell Darry's holding back, but I wouldn't blame him if he went off soon.

Darry grumbles, grabbing both of the bowls. "Well, if you don't like it then you don't got to eat it."

He storms out of the room, making sure to slam the door behind him to add an explication point.

Soda sighs, rolling off Ponyboy's bed and shuffling to the door. He doesn't bother to scold Pony. He knows how it is just as I do. Ponyboy and Darry have never seen eye-to-eye. Ever. Even when we were babies. They don't understand each other and they're both too stubborn to try.

I shake my head. "Why do you have to be so mean to him?"

"I'm not."

"Yeah you kinda are."

His bed shifts, and he lifts his head up. "I am? I didn't realize..."

Ponyboy never does, and it's not really his fault. He's sensitive, but he's unaware of Darry's feelings. He doesn't understand Darry and he has this perspective of Darry being a stone wall.

Darry has emotions and feelings...he just doesn't always show them like Ponyboy and Sodapop.

Darry's much like me, and that's why I understand him.

"Yeah," I say softly. "I think you're really hurting his feelings. He's trying, you know?"

He rolls back over, away from me. "He doesn't like me anyway."

"Of course he does." I shake my head. "Why would you say that?"

He shrugs, not turning back around to me. He faces the wall. "I just know. You know he's never really liked me. Ever since we were kids I've just annoyed him."

Everyone annoyed Darry when we were kids. He was a teenager.

"We were kids," I tell him lightly. "Things have changed."

"If you think so."

Things had changed...hadn't they?

* * *

That night I struggle with sleep. I keep thinking about things that I can't control - Darry and Ponyboy's relationship, Randy, and my parents. Every night I fight this battle where I try not to think of these things, but it's been hard to control my mind ever since my parents died.

I shift and lay on my hip when a blood curdling scream comes from my right.

I jolt up, seeing Ponyboy's legs frantically kicking the end of his sheets. "What the heck?"

The sound of footsteps come next and my bedroom door is thrown open.

Sodapop is the first one in the room, Darry standing back and watching. His eyes dart over to me and I give him a small nod to tell him that I'm alright. Ponyboy, I'm not sure of.

My heart is racing as Soda grabs Pony by the shoulders and lifts him up. "Hey, hey! Ponyboy, it's ok, it's just me."

Calmness comes, and the kicking stops. Soda holds Ponyboy in his arms until he finally comes to. "Soda?"

"Yeah," he coos. "It was just another dream."

Darry's standing at the end of Pony's bed, his arms over his chest. "Same as last time?"

"Y-Yeah."

Soda doesn't move for a while, stroking Ponyboy's hair as he cries into Soda's shirt. Pony's still trembling and shivering. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. I had nightmares, sure, everyone has. What was he dreaming that could make his him act this way? The way he screamed keeps echoing in my ears, making me quiver.

Darry sticks around for a little while, sitting on the end of the bed, unsure if he should leave or not. I can sense that he really wants to help, he just doesn't know how.

After a few more minutes, Ponyboy sits back and rubs his nose. "I'm okay." He's breathless and unsteady. It's obvious that he's anything but okay.

"Are you sure?" I ask him. "You were screaming really bad."

Pony wipes his eyes. "I think I'm okay. Sorry I woke you guys up."

He's looking directly at Darry when he says it, and I watch as Darry's forehead dips and he frowns. This is when he turns his head and focuses on the open door.

Soda pats Ponyboy on his arm, seeing Darry's face and wanting to take the attention off of it. "Hey, why don't you stay in my room tonight like we used to do when we were kids? If you have another nightmare, I'll be right there."

Ponyboy reluctantly agrees, and Soda walks him down the hall.

I swing my legs over the edge of my bed after they leave. My own legs feel like Jell-o as they hit the ground. What just happened?

I start to walk towards the bathroom when I run into Darry in the dark. "Ow! Oh, sorry."

His eyes glare down at me, making feel weak. "You going to live?"

"What?"

"You're not deathly sick, are you?"

I shake my head. "No. I'll be alright." It's the truth. Whatever I had has seemed to pass for the time being. "Why?"

"Because I think going to that doctor's appointment should be just Ponyboy and I. Something's up with these nightmares and I need at least eight hours to function. This crap is getting old and he needs to cut it out."

I watch as Darry walks away from me and down the hall. As his back gets smaller, I think about what Ponyboy said earlier. Had Darry really changed all that much?

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry this update took longer. I'm leaving for college next Thursday so I'm crazy busy with packing. I'm also updating _The Devil Makes Three_ later tonight! So please check that out later!

Thanks so much for reading! I'm open to taking suggestions on what to do for later chapters so review with your ideas!


	6. Man's World

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Outsiders.

**A/N: **I'm all moved into college and things are winding down some. So hopefully more updates will come! (like my little rhyme there? ;))

* * *

**Winter-**

I stand outside the front of the building, a cigarette in-between my fingers. Along with Angela's help, cigarettes had become a big part of my life. Ponyboy had been taking them up too and he even out smokes me on most days. Darry doesn't mind, partially because he's been sneaking one here and there too and he doesn't want to fight about something everyone else does.

Angela leans to the right, putting the stick up to her dark red lips. "We could go to the Dingo."

"We just had lunch."

"There are cute boys at the Dingo."

School was still technically in session. Our last class of the day was gym so of course Angela talked me into skipping a lot. I wasn't good at gym anyway so I was still probably going to fail even if I did show up. Plus it was almost Christmas break, which meant no one, was really paying attention.

I just don't understand why we're standing in front of the school just asking to get caught.

Angela throws her stick on the ground and crushes it with her heel as she struts in front of me. She doesn't tell me to follow her, but it's implied that I will. Some days I don't mind coming in second compared to Angela. She'd get one of the older seniors with a leather jacket and thick greasy hair, and I'd get an average guy who was into math and we were just fine. Then she found sex and here I am - her average best friend who always wears her hair up in a ponytail and has never kissed a boy before.

Some days when we walk up to boys together, I want to be the one they look at first. Or at least be noticed in comparison.

"Stop it right there, ladies," someone calls behind us. "School correction officer. Shouldn't you be in class?"

My heart stops and Angela and I both stop walking until we hear laughter quickly following.

Angela growls once she turns around. "Damn it, Dallas, that wasn't funny."

Dally sneers, a clean tooth pick in-between his lips. "Made you piss in your panties, Shepard."

Angela glares at him as he stands in front of us, leaning up against the pole. If there is one greaser Angela would never lay her hands on, it was Dally. Maybe she would just to piss Tim off, but Angela and Dally are like two deadly sparks of fire. I used to think it was flirting when they fought with each other, but now I know it's true hatred.

"You're an ass."

"Whore."

I gaze up at Dally when I realize he's staring at me.

"Skipping, huh? Doesn't seem like your thing, Curtis."

I slip my hands into my jacket pockets. The wind is freezing me. "It's just gym...You're not going to tell my brothers, are you?"

A quick smirk runs across his lips. "I might."

My face turns red. "Please don't, Dally. Darry will kill me!"

"Superman? What's he gonna do to ya? Ground you to your room? Make you go to bed without super? Oh, so scary. Ain't nothin' compared to what my old man used to do to me when I skipped."

Darry hasn't exactly punished any of us yet, which leaves much up to the imagination as to what he may do when we actually get into trouble. Ponyboy has theories, but you can never really tell about Darry. He's always had a temper, so he might just act before he thinks. Either way, I just don't want to be the first one to be punished.

Dally scratches his chin. "I won't tell...if you do something for me."

Angela huffs, slinging her purse behind her shoulder and marching over towards Dally. "Fuck off. She doesn't want to touch your nasty sweaty dick, Dallas. You won't tell any way."

I cringe at the word 'dick' and Dally's name following. That was like talking about my brothers'….yuck!

"Just for that comment - I think Tim might want to know what his precious, saint baby sister is up to at Buck's every night."

"Fuck off." Angela grabs my hand and leads me down the street and away from Dally. Her lips barely graze my ear. "Hey, you wanna have some fun with Dally?"

She doesn't really want me to answer. We're going to do what she wants no matter what I say.

Angela turns around, eyes fixed on Dally. She skips up ahead to where he's at. "Hey, Dally, you got any grass on ya?" she asks in her liquid voice.

Dally looks at her like she's a nasty bug that he can't quite smash. Dally's voice is low and rough, as if it's made out of gravel. "Get out of my face."

"I know you have some," she pushes. "I've got money."

Dally walks on, leaving us in the dust, laughing all the way down the street as if we just preformed the best show in the world though I don't see what's so funny.

Angela huffs angrily, not wanting to admit defeat so soon.

I prop my foot up against the brick wall of one of the shops and watch her contemplate her next move.

"What are we doing today?" I ask her.

She's still plotting. That's always a scary thought with her. I can tell she's coming up with a plan. Her eyebrows are lifted higher and she's trying to hide her sly smile with the back of her hand.

"Whatever Dallas Winston is doing."

I roll my eyes. I see enough of him as it is at home. "I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't," she says, getting out another cigarette that she won't smoke. "Doesn't mean I don't like to annoy the shit out of him until he screams for mercy."

Or he runs Angela over with a car. It's happened before.

"Hey Dally! Wait up!"

* * *

He's smiling, but it's not a nice smile.

He reaches into his leather jacket pocket and pulls out a silver flask.

"Give me some," Angela demands, too distracted by the shiny flask to even notice that I want to be anywhere but here. "Mmmmm. Now that's good stuff."

She's only doing that to impress him.

He holds the flash out to me. "Want some, Curtis?" I shake my head, still glaring at Angela's back. "What, baby don't drink? You scared or something, Curtis?"

"Something like that," I answer simply.

I'd seen Angela drink enough for the both of us. I'd witnessed and heard what boys do to Angela at parties when they get her drunk. I'm usually the one who takes her home and lays her in the shower and washes the vomit off her. I've cleaned up enough of her messes to know that I don't like alcohol.

Angela starts to do her thing now. She drinks too much and her face reddens. I can tell she's trying not to cough because she's showing off for Dally and anyone that just so happens to look by.

She's not showing off so Dally will kiss her. Angela has never had eyes for Dally. What she does have eyes for is making everyone miserable. It's a skill she's mastered.

And she wonders why everyone calls her a bitch.

"Get lost, mud," Dally shoos her off. "I got shit to do."

Angela's not done yet. "Let's play a game."

"A game?" Dally and I both ask with disgust in our voices.

"Truth or dare. You go, Dally. You dare me to do something and I'll do it. Anything."

"What about the truth part?" I ask.

She stomps out her cigarette with her heel again and pushes her lips forward. "I like dares."

Dally looks at her with disinterest in his eyes. "I don't like games, Shepard."

Oh Angela Shepard likes games. I remember when we were kids. She had to win at everything. I remember her mother pulling me aside at her house one day and whispering to me that I better let her win or no one will ever hear the end of it. Oh boy do we never hear the end of it.

Dally goes along with the game, though it's mainly just to get what he wants. Her task is to steal one pack of cigarettes from the drug store.

It's nothing she hasn't done before anyway.

"Anything new in your life," Dally tries to make conversation with me, "besides the obvious boring girl shit?"

I swallow, picking the nail polish off my fingers which are cold and shaking. "Nah. It's been too cold outside to do much. What about you? I heard you rode a bull last weekend."

His smoke burns my eyes. "Shouldn't believe everything you here, Curtis." He sounds serious and ill, but then he turns his head to the side and laughs. "Damn bull. Only lasted twenty seconds."

I shiver as the wind hits me again. I make a mental note to tell Darry I need a new winter coat. All of my old ones are too small now that my breasts are coming in, or that's what Angela says anyway. I think I'm just getting fatter. Angela is smaller than me except in her front. Even Ponyboy is smaller than I am. When I was little it bothered me that I was so much bigger than most of the girls in my class. As I got taller, I slimmed out some. My mom always said that I was unlucky and got my dad's and Darry's shape. Lucky me.

I wrap the think coat Angela loaned me that smells like cigarettes and coffee.

Something hits my arm and I turn my head to see it's Dally. "Here." He pushes his jacket towards me. "Take it, stupid. It's the middle of winter. Wear some fucking clothes."

I think about not taking it or saying something smart, but Dally has never taken no for an answer. As soon as I put it on the smell of Old Spice and smoke burns my nose.

Angela returns before I have a chance to thank him, dancing about with her new winnings in her hand. She smiles, swinging her hips more than necessary.

Little does she know, Dally doesn't like to lose either.

"Hey! Those are mine!" she shouts in a high pitched voice as Dally tucks them safely in his pocket. "I stole them fair and square!" I wonder if she can really hear how she sounds right now. She's showing off her age.

Dally shrugs, reaching for his lighter. "I'm giving you precious years of your life back. You should be thanking me."

"Fuck you," she spits.

"Oh, Jesus. That hurt. You know, someone should wash your mouth out with soap. Tim, maybe?"

"Fuck off."

"Tisk, tisk. That's not very lady life, dear."

I cover my mouth as a small laugh comes out. I know that laughing will only encourage Dally and fuel Angela's fire, which will mean I'll be here longer than I want to be, but Dallas Winston was pretty funny when he wanted to be. And the way I feel about Angela right now, the more he messed with her, the funnier it got.

Angela rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. Underneath the make-up, her face looks like a five year old's who didn't get their way. "You're not funny."

Dally smirks, his hip bumping up against mine. "Curtis thinks I'm funny."

"Danni thinks everything's funny." She snatches my arm, pushing her nails into my skin. "Come on, Danni. Let's go."

That's probably the last time we'll ever play with Dallas Winston.

* * *

Turns out after Dally left us, he just so happened to drop by the DX. Then he just so happened to let it drop to Soda that Angela and I were skipping. I got an earful when he got home. He did agree not to tell Darry, which I was thankful for, but I don't understand why he was so mad. It wasn't like he didn't skip. It was probably because it was gym. Soda liked gym.

That night I sit in my room and contemplate whether or not to finish my homework.

Most people mistake the fact that since Ponyboy and I are twins, that I'm just as smart as him. What they don't understand is that Ponyboy got the brains in this operation and I was left with...well, I really don't know what I was left with but it wasn't smarts.

When my parents insisted I move up a grade too, no one thought much of it. I did pretty well in school at that point. It wasn't until later that the work became harder and it took a lot for me to get good marks.

Ponyboy is across the room from me on his bed reading. He's already done with his homework and I think about asking him for help, but I decide against it. Ponyboy is nice enough when it comes to helping me, and he doesn't rub it in too much, but it's still embarrassing to have to ask for help when we're in the same class and he has a solid A and I have a C.

"Darry, it's really not that big of a deal."

I look outside my window where Sodapop and Darry are standing. Darry's smoking and pacing in a circle around the yard while Soda is desperately trying to reason with him about something.

Ponyboy notices me. "What is it?"

"Dunno. Darry and Soda are talking about something serious it looks like."

"About what?"

"I can't hear them. Whatever it is they don't want us to hear them."

I press my ear against the glass but come up empty. Whatever they were talking about, they were talking soft enough so we can't even hear them from inside the house.

I lookout as Darry kicks the side of the house which tells me the conversation is a heated one. I try to Soda's face for any clues but he's looking down at the ground.

Ponyboy sits beside me on my bed and watches the show too. "What do you think they're arguing about?"

I shrug, watching closely. "Bills? Darry's always complaining about bills."

"Why would Soda care?"

"Soda helps pay the bills some."

Ponyboy looks at me like I'm stupid. "No he doesn't."

I nod. "Yeah, he does. Darry doesn't like people to know because he wants us to think he can handle it, but I saw Soda give Darry a check one morning and he told me it was for the heat this winter."

Ponyboy thinks about that as I watch Darry storm off to take a walk down the street. Soda stands there for a little while, his head down, before he decides to come upstairs.

"Soda?" Ponyboy calls out to him.

Soda's head whips around; shocked to see us still up. "You guys saw that, did you?"

We both nod and he enters the room. He keeps his head down, obviously worn out from fighting with Darry all evening.

He takes a deep sigh and sits on the end of my bed. "Well, I guess someone's got to tell you at some point so it might as well be me."

"Is it bad?" Ponyboy asks.

Soda's shoulders shift back as he tries to get less tense. "Not really, I don't guess. Depends on how you look at it."

"Apparently Darry took it pretty bad," I say, sneering a little to try and lighten the mood.

A small smile appears on Soda's face which makes me feel better about this conversation. "Ah, he's just too stressed out to think straight. He doesn't want to let Mom and Dad down."

"So what is it?" Ponyboy asks, anxious to know.

Soda pauses, thinking of the best way to get this out. He sighs and then says, "I'm not going to be going to school with ya'll anymore."

Ponyboy's eyes widen. "He's not sending you to military school, is he?"

"Shit, Pone, you think we can afford that? No...I dropped out."

My eyes widen this time. No way would Darry ever let Soda do that. He knew how strict Mom and Dad were about school and getting good grades. Even Soda would get on to us about making good grades and making something of ourselves. No way is he telling the truth.

"What?"

"I haven't been going for a while," Soda says simply, looking down at his hands. "You guys would walk in to the building and I'd stand outside talking to Steve until you left. I forged Darry's signature and everything."

Ponyboy glares at him. "Why would you do that?"

"I ain't no good at school anyway, Pone," Soda grumbles, jerking up off the bed. "You know that. What with winter coming and all, Darry's struggling some. And if ya'll tell him I told you that then I'll skin ya, savvy?"

I shake my head, still not understanding his reasoning. "Soda, what about graduating?"

"I wasn't going to graduate anyway, Dan, you know that. It's just the best thing right now."

I watch him pace the room. "It doesn't bother you?"

"No. Not really." He shrugs. "I already got a good job. Ain't that what you're supposed to go to school for?"

Ponyboy answers for me, "I guess so."

I'm fuming. Mom and Dad would never let this happen and I can't believe Darry is letting Soda off the hook for this. Soda had even gotten on to me for _skipping _when he'd dropped out altogether!

"Dan?" he calls out.

I lower my voice, "I can't believe you."

"Danni..."

I don't let him finish. "You always get on to me about going to school and not skipping and making good grades and you just do this? You're such a hypocrite."

"Hey now, Danni, that's different."

"How so?" I question. "I'm not real good at school either, Soda, and I still try. You didn't even try! Do you not care that you're going to be working at a gas station for the rest of your life? Do you not care that you're not going to do anything with your life?"

There's a long silence after I speak, and I know I crossed some lines. Right now, I don't care.

Ponyboy hits my arm. "Shut-up."

I don't care. I shift on the bed and roll to my side so my face is at the wall. I don't want to see Soda anymore. I don't want him to see me cry.

"Fine," Soda snaps, marching towards the door. "Nice to know how you feel about me."

The door slamming rattled my ear drums, and that's when I started to cry.

* * *

"Danni!"

I flinch as a high pitched scream comes behind me. My ears are still sore from listening to Ponyboy lecture me last night. He's the same age as me, but sometimes he really likes to try to boss me around.

A hand catches my shoulder. "Hey, I want to ask you something."

I'm surprised to see that it's Randy. I did my best to avoid him for most of the month of November. Maybe it was because it's almost Christmas, but he actually sounds friendly.

"Okay," I respond, kind of anxious to hear what it is.

He cuffs the back of his neck with his hand. "Um, well, I wanted to apologize for what happened at my house. Michael and Mar are ready to apologize too."

"Are pigs about to fly, Randy? Michael and Marilyn don't apologize."

"I made them," he says simply and I still don't believe him. "Anyway, I'm having this Christmas party. Just me, you, Sam, the twins, and this guy named Bob that I met. I was wondering if you wanted to come too?"

I feel my palms getting sweaty. Randy's cute, and a cute boy asking me to a party would get an automatic yes, but hearing the guest list, and knowing what happened last time, I'm not sure how to respond.

"Problem here, Dan?" Someone new grabs my shoulder and pulls me back a little.

I gaze up to realize it's Two-Bit and Ponyboy standing protectively behind me. Johnny's with them, but he's faded in the background and out of the fire zone.

Two-Bit's grip tightens and I swat his arm down.

"No," Randy answers. "We're fine. Right, Danni?"

I nod, not knowing what else to do. I know Two-Bit's going to get his two cents into this conversation. He didn't get his name for nothing.

"What's a Soc like you talking to a greaser like her?"

I know the comment isn't supposed to hurt my feelings, but there's a sudden pain in my stomach, and I hang my head.

Randy shifts, putting his weight on one leg. "We're friends, aren't we, Danni?"

I nod, and again, it goes unnoticed.

"Ha! Do I look stupid, Soc? What do you want?"

I open my mouth to actually step into the conversation, but Randy's voice overpowers mine. "I don't think that's any of your business, _grease_."

I wince at hearing Randy call Two-Bit a grease. Before, Randy didn't know what that was, now it was clear he knew what the sides were.

Ponyboy pulls me closer to him as Two-Bit sizes up to Randy.

"Stop him," I hiss.

"Why? You actually want him to talk to you?" Pony whispers in my ear.

"Yes! He's not a bad guy contrary to what ya'll believe."

I watch nervously as Two-Bit and Randy face off, when, just my luck, Steve joins us. "What's going on here, boys?"

"Pretty boy Soc here is looking for trouble."

Randy pushes Two-Bit off with his shoulder. "I wasn't looking for anything. I told you, Danni and I were just talking. Unless you're her boyfriend, take a hike. This doesn't involve you."

Fire sparks in Steve's eyes as he lets out a smirk. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

I try to push Ponyboy off, but he has a death grip on me. Partially so I won't get hurt with the guys going at it, and partially so I'll stay out of it even though this fight is about me.

No one will listen though.

Two-Bit sizes up to Randy again. "Should we take this outside, Soc?"

I gulp as I wait for Randy's response.

"Back off."

"Let's go!" Steve shouts.

"Yeah, let's go!" Two-Bit echoes.

My hands tremble. I always hate the fact that my brothers and their friends fight. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I just don't like it. I've witnessed a lot of fights, some of which they were involved in, and it just terrifies me to watch.

"Stop!" I shout loud enough so they can hear me. "Stop it!"

And surprisingly, they do.

Their eyes are on me now. They've finally listened.

I step forward out of Ponyboy's grasp. "Just don't fight, okay?"

"Stay out of this," Steve spits at me.

I brush past him harshly and go towards Randy because he's the only one who seems willing to hear me. "This isn't about you, okay? I'm not a little kid and I can make decisions on my own."

Two-Bit's shoulders relax. "He's a Soc, Danni. You think all he wants to do is talk to you? You know what kind of shit happens and if your brothers hear about this-"

"I can think for myself," I stress. I turn on my heel, only facing Randy. "I'd love to go to your party."

* * *

**A/N: **What do you guys want to see in this story? I'm taking some suggestions so please leave me some in a review.

I'm going to try and update the other two stories I have up soon!


	7. The Warden Threw a Party

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

**A/N: **Pretty long chapter here! Enjoy.

* * *

Gym class is a waste of time.

I'm sitting on the floor, a book in front of me. Everyone else is playing basketball or four-square, but I'm on the floor alone. No one invites me to play. They don't expect me to want to or care to ask. I frighten most of them. I'm the girl who can put up with Angela Shepard. They assume I'm like her or some kind of evil.

Sometimes I don't mind being alone. I'm not very good at sports, and I like to read.

Some days though, I wish someone would ask me to play.

Angela soon pulls me up. "Let's go skip."

I almost argue with her because we've been skipping a lot lately, but I have nothing better to do.

We don't actually go anywhere. We end up in the girl's bathroom smoking cigarettes which is fine by me. I'd do just about anything to get out of that gym.

"And then I told her that the dress didn't flatter her and she didn't talk to me for a week! A whole week! I was saving her from public shame. She should have thanked-"

The girls stop talking once they notice us. "Oh."

Marilyn. Marilyn James and her stupid Cashmere sweater.

Another girl is with her. She has long red curly hair and lax eyes. She, unlike Marilyn, doesn't look completely disgusted to see us. She even whispers out a hello.

Smoke rises from Angela's cigarette, causing them to cough.

Marilyn rolls her eyes. "I thought they already took the trash off today."

I close my eyes, already prepared for Angela's attack. "Why don't you say that to my face, bitch?"

Marilyn's eyes go to me. "Hey, Danni."

"Don't talk to her."

Marilyn's eyes don't leave mine, and I found myself under her beauty spell. I can't look away. "Danni and I are friends now, aren't we Danni? We're even going to a party together this weekend."

Angela's brows dip down. "Danni's my friend, not yours. Take a hike."

Red Head grabs Marilyn's elbow. "Maybe we should go."

Marilyn's cackle echoes through the bathroom. "Why would she want to be friend with trash like you when she can hang out with royalty?" She turns back to me. "Isn't that right, Dan? Tell Angela who'd you rather be friends with."

My mouth hangs open, and I'm completely mute.

Angela pushes her before I can answer. "Bitch."

"Whore!"

Red Head tries to snatch Marilyn back, but Marilyn James always finishes a fight. "Stop it! Marilyn!"

This goes on for about ten minutes. Angela shoves Marilyn, Marilyn shoves her back, they call each other names, and I sit here in a daze. Marilyn James just called me her friend. I don't know whether to be honored, or completely and utterly terrified.

Then I remember what Randy told me about her apologizing.

Had Marilyn changed?

"Ladies! Stop it!"

I gaze up, seeing my math teacher, Mrs. Robbin, breaking up the girls. Red head is the one that got her.

And Red Head is who I have to thank for getting me detention.

* * *

I sit in Mrs. Robbin's class room.

Angela's mother already came and got her.

I'm still here because Darry's working.

School's out. It has been for almost an hour now. Everyone has gone home except for me and Mrs. Robbin. She's at her desk, just as tired and anxious as I am for Darry to come. As each second goes by, the more I worry.

Mrs. Robbin agreed not to send me to the principal's office for this. She knows of our situation, and though she didn't say it out loud, she doesn't want anyone to call social services on us or for us to get into any trouble. I appreciate that. I really do.

What I don't quite appreciate is that she did still called Darry.

"I don't want to get you in trouble," she tells me again. "I was going to call him in any way to talk about recent circumstances."

I nod, though I'm still not too happy with her. She didn't _have_ to call Darry.

I let my head fall on the desk and shut my eyes. So much for my plan of not being the first one to get in trouble. I try not to think of the possible things Darry will do to me. If this happened when Mom and Dad were here, they'd probably just ground me for a while or give me a big lecture. Darry was a wild card. He's always had a mind of his own, and a stubborn side.

It's not too long before Darry does show up, dirty and covered in sweat.

Mrs. Robbin asks to speak to him alone and for me to step outside. Before I get out the door, Darry gives me one hell of a look that tells me that after this talk, I'm so beyond dead.

* * *

"What did she say?" I ask, still afraid of the outcome.

His grip tightens on the steering wheel, but his expressions remain calm. "She was worried about you I suppose. She wanted to see how things where at home."

"Oh."

"Oh?" His head turns to me, his calm look quickly fading and turning into annoyance and irritation. "What else do you think she told me?"

I could think of a number of things but I decide not to list them. I know what she told Darry, I just don't want to admit it to him. "I don't know."

"Obviously you do," he growls. "You're barely pulling a C right now, Dan."

The conversation is making me very uncomfortable. Darry has nagged and lectured me about things before, but never anything like my grades. I normally just blew him off, but this wasn't something I could. Darry was serious.

"I know," I tell him softly. "Sorry."

His rant carries on. "What do you think happens if you get a D or an F? Social services will be all over that."

I hang my head, not wanting to look at him. Every time social services are brought up it's another reminder of what my life has become. Never in a million years did I think I'd have the burden of worrying about social services.

"She told me what happened in the bathroom today."

This causes me to stare at him. "She did?"

He frowns. "Better question is why you didn't?"

I try to study his face, but he's not giving me any hints as to what he's going to do to me. He's angry. I know that. I feel the steam evaporating off of him. "I don't know."

"Is that all you can say lately?" he snaps. "Jesus, Danni. I send you to school to try and learn and make something of yourself. Not skip class and smoke in the bathroom and get into a fight."

"I didn't fight though," I point out, trying to save myself some. "It was all Angela."

Darry's head whips around, glaring at me. "You were still skipping and you put yourself in that situation. Stop making excuses for yourself. It still doesn't take away from the matter of your grades either. Do you mind telling me why you have a C?"

I kick the bottom of the truck where the floor is coming up. I do mind telling him. "I don't know."

"It wasn't an optional question. Answer it."

Something inside of me itches to start yelling at him or to put up a fight. It's something that tells me Darry's still my brother and not my parent and he shouldn't be talking to me this way. There's something stronger and more sensible inside of me that's afraid of Darry and knows to not back talk right now.

"The work has gotten harder, I guess." It's not really a lie. The work is harder. I just haven't been studying it or trying.

He glances at me again, taking his eyes off the road. "You _guess_?"

I don't respond. What was I supposed to say?

"Damn, Danni."

The truck pulls up to the driveway. "I'm real sorry, Darry," I say, trying to help smooth things a little more.

Darry rubs his chin and doesn't look at me. "Yeah, well..."

"Well?"

"Just go to your room, alright?"

* * *

I slam the door to my room once I get up there. Luckily Darry isn't inside yet or I probably wouldn't have slammed it. That would give him a real good excuse to march up here and lay into me. Would he lay into me though? That's the problem with all of this. I don't know what Darry's going to do and it makes me angry that I have to worry about this.

He's my brother, not my dad.

I kick the door out of frustration.

About an hour later Soda comes home. I smell dinner cooking downstairs but I know there's a conversation that's about to happen down there, and I'm not going to miss hearing it.

I slip out of my room and sit at the top of the stairs, listening closely.

"What are you gonna do, Dar?" Soda asks. Darry has already told him the story of what happened. Now it's the interesting part of the conversation where they decide what to do.

Darry doesn't answer right away, but when he does his voice is low. "Not sure."

"Are you really gonna punish her?" Soda asks and I wince with the way that sounds "I mean we did stuff like that too."

He's right. I remember all the stuff Darry and Soda got into that were way worse than this. Mom and Dad never found out about it. We all covered for each other. Why was this different? Darry's still my brother. He shouldn't have to do anything to me other than tell me to do better in school and not smoke or fight.

Why do I have to be punished for something they did plenty of times?

"Yeah, and Mom and Dad got all over us and we never did it again. Remember that time you and Steve got into that fight in sixth grade? And the kid broke his nose and his parents threatened to go to the cops?"

Soda sighs, giving in. "Yeah, you're right. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I mean, shit, Soda. I'm just her brother! I'm not supposed to be doing this crap."

Yeah, and he shouldn't be!

"I guess you gotta do something," Soda tells him.

"Damn."

* * *

I run up to my room quickly after the conversation. I know Darry's going to come up here and talk to me before dinner and he did tell me to stay in my room. Angela isn't afraid of her brothers, but I honestly am scared of Darry. Darry is big. If Darry were to hit me, it'd hurt worse than what Tim could do to Angela.

It's not long before there's a knock on my door. "Danni?"

"Yeah?"

Darry slowly drags himself in, shutting the door behind him and standing in front of me. He crosses his arms over his chest, looking more and more like a grown man. "We need to talk about what happened today."

I sit up, not quite ready to hear this. "Okay."

"You can't be fighting with people and getting into this crap. I've told you a thousand times how strict social services are and they will come down on us if they hear that you've been fighting."

His tone makes me bite my tongue. I disagree with him lecturing me, but I know better than to make this any worse for myself. "I know. I'm sorry, Dar. It was honestly just-"

"I don't want to hear it!" he yells and I try to stop myself from crying. "You still did it. I don't want a thousand excuses."

Any time someone yells at me, it causes me to cry. It's a flaw in my personality and I hate it.

Crying is only going to make Darry angrier, so I wipe my eyes.

I hang my head.

"So, you can't go to that party."

My head shoot back up. I can't believe what I'm hearing. "What?"

"I don't want to hear another word about it," he says sternly enough to make me bite my tongue again. "That's my decision, and it's final, got me?"

I barely get out a nod before he slams the door shut.

* * *

I don't go down for dinner even though my stomach is growling something awful.

Maybe I'm just trying to make Darry feel bad, but it's me feeling bad and hungry right now.

Being up here gives me time to stew. Darry knows how I've been looking forward to that party. He never wanted me to go and this was just a good excuse. He had no right to take that away from me. It's not his job or place to punish me.

"Heard you got in a fight," Soda says, coming into the room and sitting on Pony's bed.

Pony rises up. "You got into a _fight_?"

"Not really," I say simply. "Angela did. I was just there."

Ponyboy's eyes go wide. "W-What did Darry do?"

I roll my eyes, trying to make this sound more dramatic than it really is. "I can't go to Randy's party this weekend. I suppose I'm grounded. It doesn't make any sense though! He didn't have to ground me. Darry got into fights all the time."

"Hold up now," Soda says, shoot up. "You know what Mom and Dad did too once they heard? You got off easy, little girl."

"Still..." I grumble.

Soda looks at the both of us with a serious glare. "Listen, both of you. Darry only does what he does because he's got to. Social services are always givin' him a hard time and threatening to take us away all the time. So don't be gettin' into all this trouble."

My head falls, seeing his point. Darry does go through more than we know...but it still doesn't mean I have to be happy about getting punished by him, or even agreeing with it. He's my older brother, and this doesn't feel right.

"Besides," Soda grins wide, "we're kind of a package deal, and I kinda like living here, savvy?"

* * *

New Year's Eve and I'm spending it home alone with my math book in front of me.

Darry was really set on me keeping my grades up. My teacher told him she doesn't understand why my grades have dropped so much. She tried to pin everything on my parent's death, like most people have been doing. I'm so sick of that excuse and I don't use it. What she doesn't know is that Randy is in that class with me, and I can barely focus with him around.

It's no secret that I think Randy is attractive, and the way he sees me as something other than a greaser girl, makes me feel special. I could be doing the wrong thing by even thinking all of this, but I like Randy. I can't stop thinking about him.

I try to lie down and think or maybe go to sleep. I'm not sure yet what I want to do.

Soda's out with Steve and Two-Bit. Darry is already asleep. This is the first New Year's Eve he's stayed home for in years. His excuse was that he was tired and had to clean out the gutters tomorrow, but I saw him heading into his room with a few beers.

Ponyboy is at a party tonight. It's his first one. I'm still a little jealous he's there and I'm not. Though I've already been to my first party. Angela took me over the summer and it wasn't as much fun as people make it out to be. I ended up having to carry her to this guy's car that drove us home where I had to carry her to my bed and the next morning I got to clean her vomit off my sheets.

The phone rings downstairs and I rush to it before it wakes Darry. "Hello?"

"Who is this?"

"Danni?"

"It's Buck. You need to come to my place."

"Why?"

"Because you're brother's here and he's drunk out of his mind."

* * *

Ponyboy sits on his hands and watches me enter the room. Curly's hassling some guy next to then for a cigarette. Buck's standing over both of them, his arms crossed and his ear pressed against the phone. I know a lot about the parties Buck has here because Angela always wants to come. Buck doesn't mind to let under aged kids in, as long as they play pool and keep their mouths shut.

Obviously these two didn't just play pool.

"Aye," Curly calls to Buck. "S'what happened to s'my one phone call?"

Buck shakes his head and hangs up the phone. He looks exhausted. "I called Tim, you dummy. He should be here soon. I already told ya that."

Curly throws his head back, causing it to bang against the wall. "Aw, man! What'd you do that for? Don't I get a choice in who you call?"

Buck rolls his eyes, walking over towards me. "Not when you're minors and you decide to fuck around in my house."

Curly sinks down in his seat and kicks his feet out and groans. "Damnit. Tim's gonna kick my ass!"

Buck stands beside him, his hands in his pockets. I've never spoken to Buck before. He's about Darry's age and he has a rough beard and dark eyes with a big frame. From far away, he almost looks like Frankenstein. I've always stayed away from Buck when I've been here. I'm not sure how he knew who I was. It wasn't like I've ever spoken to him before. I didn't think he knew I existed.

Standing beside him now makes me uncomfortable.

I know Darry isn't the first person Ponyboy wants to see come through that door either, but right now, I doubt he can even see the door.

I remember the first time Soda came home drunk. I was still young at the time, but I remember it very clearly.

The first time he had a few beers it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean, he sometimes has one when the guys are over and Darry's fine with it. He wasn't so fine the night Soda came in, not even able to walk straight. It woke us all up but luckily Mom and Dad didn't hear. Darry was nice enough to keep it between them, but he let his ass have it the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. I expected this time to be even worse with Ponyboy, especially since he was with _Curly Shepard._

"Fucking shit, Curly." Tim's footsteps make the floor vibrate under me. I rest my head on my arm and shut my eyes and prepare for the yelling to begin.

I tune out most of what Tim says. I'm busy listening to Ponyboy whine about his head.

"My head's throbbing from the fight and the liquor Curly loaded me up."

I raise an eyebrow. "A_ fight_?"

Ponyboy tells me about the older guys starting it because Curly "accidentally" hit one of them with the pool cue. Ponyboy claims he didn't do much, but I can smell the liquor on his breath. It's so strong that it starts to make _my_ head hurt.

From what I can tell, Tim's going on mostly about how mad he is about Curly stealing the liquor from him and dragging Ponyboy in this. I'm sure it's because Tim's afraid of Darry. Afraid isn't a good word. Respect. Tim respects Darry too much to be okay with this.

Then, right when Tim's voice starts to rise even more, another voice says something. "Jesus."

Ponyboy looks up, his face clearly relieved it's not Darry.

"You called Soda?" he asks me, clearly upset.

I nod. "I had to get a ride here. How do you think I got here?"

Soda walks over to us, standing beside me and in front of Ponyboy. He studies Pony's face and listens silently to Tim argue with Curly.

"S'where Darry?" Ponyboy dares to ask.

"Not here," Soda says, a bit disappointed, and then walks away from us.

Ponyboy gives me the death look once Soda's gone.

I didn't want to call Soda, but what did Pony think I could do about this? I couldn't drive and I didn't have a car. He's lucky I didn't wake Darry up and drag him into all of this.

I sit on the couch far away from Ponyboy and watch Soda and Tim talk to Buck. Curly has found his sea legs and goes to throw up in the john.

"It was Curly's idea - the fight," Ponyboy tells me. "The whole thing really. We were only supposed to take a few sips of Tim's Whiskey and go straight home."

The thing with Curly Shepard though is he doesn't just take a few sips and he never goes straight home.

"S'what do you think Soda's going to do?"

"I dunno. You should probably worry about Darry. How much did you drink anyway?"

He slides down in his seat, holding his head. "Too much."

Soda comes back and hauls Ponyboy to his feet, refusing to look at him or me. I've never seen him so mad. Glory, when Darry gets a hold of Pony he was going to be grounded until he was sixteen.

Tim comes by, pulling Curly along, shouting, "Wait 'till we get home. I'll teach you to steal my booze, kid."

Soda doesn't say another word the whole ride home. With every bump we hit is another time Ponyboy's stomach does a flip. Soda lets him keep the window down most of the ride.

Truthfully, I hope Ponyboy feels like crap right now. It's not his nature to do things like this. He's just thirteen. He does this even after that talk Soda had with us earlier. This wasn't right, and I hope he's really suffering right now.

I can only imagine what Darry's going to say.

Though I dare to say it is nice to see someone else in trouble besides me.

When we pull up in front of the house, Soda gets out of the truck and walks quickly to Ponyboy's side, opening the door like he's Ponyboy's date and he's being a gentleman. The look on his face, however, tells me there's going to be nothing gentle about this.

Pony stumbles over and Soda has to catch him. He still doesn't say anything, just sighs and cues me to help him help Pony walk to the porch. I can tell by his body language he's mighty pissed.

"S'think I'm sick."

"I think you're drunk," Soda snaps, opening the door and guiding him inside before he falls off the porch.

"I think you're an idiot," I give my opinion.

I help Soda get Pony to our room. He lies him down in bed and he immediately curls up in a ball, hiding his face.

Soda shoots me a tired look and gets down on his knees to take off Pony's shoes. I pull the blanket up over him when his stomach does a back flip and he knocks me down to get the bathroom. Chunks fly everywhere and I think_ I'm_ going to be sick.

Soda goes to his side while I stay back at the door. "Be quiet," Soda tells him. "It'll help."

God, Curly was dead._ Ponyboy_ was dead.

What was Darry going to say?

* * *

**A/N: **I'm still taking suggestions on what you guys want! Do you want the events of the book? I wouldn't give them in every detail or aspect, but just some parts from Danni's POV and my own added things.

I'll try to update _The Devil Makes Three_ tomorrow. Thanks for reading and please review!


	8. Chasing Waterfalls

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

* * *

The next morning I wake up late. Ponyboy kept me up all night by rushing back and forth to the bathroom. Finally he decided just to sleep in there and Soda eventually took his bed.

The sound of moaning from the bathroom wakes me up.

I roll over and face where Ponyboy's bed is. Soda is laying in it like he has been all night. "Is he ok?" I ask Soda, noticing that he's woken up too from the complaining coming from the bathroom.

He nods, rubbing his eyes. He swings his feet over the edge of the bed and yawns. "Just hung-over is all. He'll be fine just as long as I deal with him and not Darry."

As long as _he_ deals with Ponyboy? I can understand why Soda wants to deal with Ponyboy rather than let Darry do it. Darry would blow a gasket and Soda got off easy the first time he drank too. What I don't understand is how Soda's going to handle this. Soda has only raised his voice at us maybe twice in our whole lives. How was he going to handle this so Ponyboy would never drink again?

And why am I the one who gets in trouble for little things and Pony's going to get off with a slap on this wrist for drinking?

"You're not telling Darry?"

Soda yawns again, fighting back the urge to go back to bed. "I don't see any reason to. I'm going to take care of it. Besides, it happens to everyone eventually."

He gets up and stretches out like a well fed cat.

"It hasn't happened to me," I point out to him.

He smirks. He trips over a few dirty clothes on the floor and points a sharp finger in my face. "And it better not ever."

I rest my head back against my pillow and watch Soda find a relatively clean shirt of Pony's to put on. He smells a couple for good measure before deciding on one.

I haven't realized how much Soda has changed in the last months. I only noticed Darry, but now I see that Soda has changed and not for the better. Soda has always been protective of his family, but now it's as if he's taken on the role of Darry's sidekick. It was hard enough having to deal with Darry telling me what to do, but now Soda?

"I've already been to a party," I spill out.

He doesn't bother turning around, unconcerned. "You have?"

I nod. "With Angela over the summer."

He raises an eyebrow, finally looking at me. I wait for a lecture of some or some of Soda's wise words of wisdom, but nothing. He just turns around and then shrugs.

"You're not mad?" I ask, confused at how fast he went from concerned and strict older brother to suddenly not caring what I do.

With his back to me, he responds, "Do I look mad?"

"You just told me I could never get drunk like Ponyboy did."

There's a heavy sigh before Soda turns back around. "Did you get drunk?"

"No."

"Exactly."

I narrow my eyes. I don't understand what he's talking about. He just told me I better not drink and now he doesn't care that I went to a party with kids his age? "Exactly what?"

"You're a smart kid, alright?" he says plainly, walking over to me. "I expect you to go to a party and I trust you. Getting drunk off your ass is a different story. That's just plain dumb and none of you should be doing that, especially at your age, savvy?"

There's the wise words I was looking for.

I watch as Soda gives me a smile and turns back away. He leans against the door with his arms crossed over his chest, listening to Ponyboy who has gone relatively quiet. Concern and disappointment wash over his face and I know Ponyboy feels just as bad for letting this happen and Soda finding out about it. Ponyboy always hates hurting Soda more than anything.

Finally, I sit up on my bed, keeping my two sizes too small nightgown from sliding up my thighs and accidentally flashing Soda. "What are you going to do to him?"

"I dunno." He snickers. "Probably just scream his hangover away."

Just as the crying next door stops, heavy footsteps come up the stairs.

"What's going on in here?" Darry asks, marching through the door and looking at only Soda for the answer.

"Ponyboy's sick."

Darry backs away, heading towards the bathroom. Soda and I quickly follow after him. The smell hits me right away and I think I'm going to be just as sick. Ponyboy's on the floor with a towel wrapped around him and a wet rag on his forehead. His face is pale and sweat is pouring off of him.

If this is what being hung-over looks like, I never want to drink. This is like the flu times a thousand.

Darry puts his hands on his knees, getting down to Pony's level. He places a hand on Ponyboy's forehead, causing him to flinch. "You don't have a fever."

"J-Just a stomach thing," Ponyboy stammers out.

Pony looks to Soda for help, but there's not much that can be done. I know by the look on Darry's face that he does not believe any of this. Darry is, after all, the one who had to help Soda when he first decided to drink. Darry knows the drill here and what this is.

"Why does it smell like beer in here?"

I wince, just imaging what Darry's going to do to him. If he grounded me for bad grades, he was defiantly going to kill Ponyboy for this.

"That's me," Soda intervenes, desperate to help. "I drank some last night."

"You don't drink."

Soda opens his mouth to jump in again, but Darry is only focused on Ponyboy.

He gets back down to Pony's level, repositioning the cloth on his head. "Well you know the weirdest thing just happened. Tim came by."

I gulp. He was dead. So dead.

"Jesus."

* * *

After a few minutes of helping Ponyboy to his room, I expect Darry to start in with the lecture. I even leave the room to go change. When I come back though, Darry and Soda are both gone and Ponyboy is still comfortably on the bed with his blanket wrapped tightly around him.

"Where are they?" I ask him.

He points out the door. "Darry wanted to speak to Soda alone."

Uh-oh. That couldn't be good. I've figured out that Darry is probably never going to punish Soda. They are too close in age and Darry sees Soda more of an equal. However, this doesn't mean they weren't going to fight like cats and dogs about this whole mess.

I peak my head out the bedroom door, hoping to hear most of their conversation.

"Soda, you have to tell me these things," Darry growls lowly.

I hear Soda loosely kick something and I know that he does feel bad for leaving Darry out of this. Sometimes, I wonder if Darry ever feels like I do - the odd one out. Soda and Ponyboy have always had a bond that the rest of us don't, but I do wonder if Darry is ever jealous like I am.

Soda deeply exhales. "I was going to handle it, Dar. I was. I didn't want to worry you with this."

"You guys are my responsibility. I need to know what goes on in my damn house!"

Ponyboy winces from the bed. "This is all my fault."

I'm not going to argue with him on that one. He was the one who was stupid enough to let Curly Shepard drag him to Buck's and get him drunk.

"Darry, you said it yourself, I'm like your right hand man in this," Soda tells him softly yet sternly. "I was going to handle it and I still will. Just give me a chance-"

Darry quickly cuts him off, "You had your chance. Now I'm handling it. He's grounded. Two weeks. I'm not budging on that and you know that's cutting him a lot of slack considering what I got from Mom and Dad when I drank."

"Awe, come on, Darry-"

"I'm not talking about this anymore. I don't want any more secrets in this house, got it?"

The kitchen door slams and it's another night we don't hear or see Darry.

* * *

Angela's smoking a cigarette while sitting on the couch. She's got her heels on which tell me she's up to no good tonight and she's going to want me to come along. Her eyes are like cats, wide and hungry for the kill.

I'm about to tell her I don't feel well enough to go out, when the front door opens and I know right away that I won't be going to bed early tonight.

"Get out, Winston."

"Always a pleasure to see you too, Shepard. How are you this evening?"

Her smoke burns my eyes. She's hitting my nerves hard tonight. Some days I really want to tell Angela off. I want to point out all her flaws and what annoys me the most. I want to tell her how hard it is to be friends with her.

Dally sits down next to me, his knee sticking to mine. "Where are your brothers?"

This is the typical question. I've been getting it since I could walk. I never had many friends. I only had Angela. My brothers always had friends over. From a very early age, I always wanted to be a part of that. I learned the hard way though when they'd come through that door without so much of a hello and ask that same question. It's then that I realized I was their friend's little_ sister_.

"Darry's working at his other job, Soda is somewhere with Steve, and Ponyboy went to the library to study."

Dally stops listening half way through. He's having an eye staring contest with Angela. The rules are different for this game. The winner of this game is whoever can make the meanest face and hold it the longest.

This is a skill they've both mastered and it's hard to ever pick a winner.

"So..." I say, trying to break the tension. "What are you doing tonight, Dal?"

Angela's cat eyes narrow and her thin lips press together as she smiles. I almost swear she's purring. "Wanna play a game?"

* * *

I was wrong about us never playing with Dally again. I'd forgotten that Dally likes his games almost as much as Angela. What I can't understand is why Dally is here right now and not out with his friends.

Angela and Dally are glaring at each other again. We've changed scenes and went to my room.

"Isn't it your turn for a dare, Curtis?"

"_Danni_," I stress.

Angela's smoking her fifth cigarette, her dark red nails clasping the end. "Don't give her a hard one. She's still a baby."

My eyes shoot daggers into her. I can't believe she just said that. I'm not much younger than her, and even so, I know more things at my age than most girls know at eighteen. I've gotten my period, I have boobs (not big ones but they still count), and I've been to a party. I'm far from being a baby.

"I can do anything you can do," I hiss out.

She doesn't respond with words. Instead she blows smoke on me, adding fuel to my fire.

Dally sneers loudly, holding up his hands to stop us. "Nah, I got Curtis a dare." He pauses for dramatic effect, and then clears his throat. "I dare you to climb out that window and shimmy over to Soda's window and go through it."

I gulp, knowing what he's doing. It's no secret that I've always been afraid of heights. I'm not sure where it came from or how it started, but most of my nightmares consist of me falling to my death.

Angela rolls her eyes back. "She can't do it."

"I can to!"

Dally's still smiling as he points over to the window. "Go ahead."

I swallow hard, trying to get the large lump in my throat to go down. My feet drag on the carpet as I make my way over to the closed window. It takes some effort to open it and once I do, the coldness makes me shiver.

"Danni, don't do it," Angela says, her voice now full of concern. "It's been snowing. That window is slick as hell."

I put my hands down, feeling the coldness. I could do this. It wasn't that hard or long of a walk to Soda's window. All I had to do was get outside the window and hang on to the side of the house. As long as I don't look down, I was good.

"Danni, I mean it."

She couldn't tell me what to do. I'll show her alright.

I sit down on the edge with both legs still on my floor. I take a deep breath before moving one leg outside.

"Danni, don't!"

Dally's perked up now. He's stopped snickering and now is glaring at me. "Shit, Curtis, get back in here. I was just playin'. Ain't no one stupid enough to go out that window in the snow."

I hold onto the top of the open window, trying not to look down.

"Kid, get in here!"

My grip tightens on the window pane. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"Yeah, you sure as hell ain't actin' like it," Dally snaps, getting up to pull me in. "Get your ass down before you break something."

I see him coming and my eyes widen. Dally couldn't tell me what to do either. He, just like everyone else, sees me a little kid. I was more than that. I would show them. I would show them all that I could do this.

My other leg swings around before he has the chance to grab me back.

"Curtis, I mean it. Get your ass back in here!"

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes.

"Shit."

* * *

"You're an idiot. A fucking_ idiot_."

I put my finger up to the side of my head and feel the blood trickling down. It causes me to shake more, and though I'm holding back from crying so Dally doesn't think I'm a big baby, tears still find their way down my cheeks.

Dally sent Angela home. Actually, he screamed at her enough that she finally just left. After that he started screaming and me and lecturing me about not using my head. I personally think I used my head. I used my head to break my fall. After the bleeding got worse, Dally put me in this car and started driving towards the hospital.

I should be thankful he was there. After all, he is being nice enough to take me to the hospital. I just want to be anywhere but here. This was embarrassing enough. Now I have to explain the story to the whole hospital staff and to my brothers.

"You better not blame this shit on me," Dally goes on. "I don't need your brother smashing my head in for this shit."

My fingers twitch. "Do you have a cigarette?"

He reaches into his pocket and throws me the whole pack along with his lighter. My hands tremble as I pull one out and attempt to light it. My nerves are completely shot. Apparently falling out of a window will do that to a person.

I smoke the cigarettes like it's going to be my last.

"Whose car is this?" I ask.

He keeps his eyes on the road, too frustrated to look at me. "Does it matter?"

It could matter if this was stolen. I don't put it past Dally because he did that last summer. Granted, it was Tim's car and Dally _claimed_ to be borrowing it.

I shrug. "It could I suppose."

"Just shut up. I've had enough of your crap for one day."

I rest my head against the window and smoke. I could tell him I've had enough of him too, but I decide against it. I was already injured, and I know Dally could make it so I couldn't walk again. I've learned the hard way many times not to push Dally when he's mad. Besides, he was being nice enough to take me to the hospital. That was something at least.

"Don't lean against that door." He jerks me back by my arm. "It's broken. The last damn thing I need is for you to become road kill."

My head rattles from the pull. "My head hurts," I complain, trying to rub around the blood. "How bad am I bleeding?"

He reluctantly looks over and whistles out his mouth. "Shit."

That's not the reaction I was hoping for. I shut my eyes and try not to think about the pain and the bleeding and the way my ass is throbbing right now and I think I broke it. Instead I think about this cigarette and Elvis playing my favorite song through the radio.

Only thing is this cigarette is gone and the radio is out.

"I'll take the blame," I tell him lightly, hoping it'll make him calm down some. "I mean when Darry comes. I'll tell him it was my idea. You had nothing to do with it."

He doesn't respond.

I take out another cigarette and light it. I suck on the end until my lungs are busting out with smoke. Dally's eyes are staring at me and I know he's wanting to growl at me for smoking so much. No matter how much smoke I take in though, my nerves don't calm down and my hands won't stop shaking.

"You think I'm going to be ok?" I ask him. "I heard about this kid once that fell out of a tree house and hit his head and he was brain damaged for the rest of his life. Do you...do you think that's going to happen to me?"

This causes him to smirk. I'm glad he finds this situation amusing. It's better than him being angry at least. "Shit, Curtis, you really think falling from a two story window is going to make you a retard?"

"I don't know." I look down at my hands.

It could happen.

I sit back and shut my eyes. The last thing I remember are the hospital lights and Dally carrying me in. Then everything goes black.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I'm trying to get better at updating! My motivation is lacking lately. (reviews help, hint, hint ;)) Mad props to whoever knows the song that inspired the ending with Danni falling out the window and Dally taking her to the hospital.

Again, please, please, please, give me ideas! I would love to hear what you guys want to happen. I have a set chapter outline already put together but I left a lot of room to add things. So shoot me some ideas in a review! :)


	9. The Middle

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the _Outsiders_.

* * *

The nurses insisted I call Darry. I begged Dally to do it, but of course he refused to do anything helpful after getting me inside and through the hospital doors. I expected him to leave after a while. After all, he really wasn't helping anything by being here. He's stayed the whole time, flirting with a couple of nurses and stealing candy and rubber gloves.

I rest my head against the pillow and think about Darry coming through that door at any minute. He's not going to be happy about having to leave work. He's mentioned earlier that his boss was getting mad about Darry having to take off before his shift was over or Darry coming in so late because he had to take us to school.

The pressure is slowly getting to him. I try my best not to let things like this happen. I try by best to not get into trouble and just coast by until I turn eighteen and Darry has no guardianship over me and he can go back to being my brother.

None of that is working though. The future isn't looking so good either.

I reach my hand up and rub the bandage wrapped around my head. The doctor keeps telling me how lucky I am that I didn't split my head open, not that I don't already know that. This pain is worse enough.

"Jesus, Danni."

Darry comes through the door and rushes to my side. It shocks me at how fast he moves to get to me. The look on his face tells me he's been worried about this ever since I called him about an hour ago.

I've hardly ever seen Darry look this way. This is what Soda looks like when he's worried. This isn't Darry. Do I really look that bad?

I shut my eyes, hating that I made him worry so much.

Darry's hand gently touches my head where the cut is. He deeply sighs and decides to look away.

I know what he's thinking, so I say, "It's not as bad as it looks."

He grips the back of my neck. His eyes look directly at me so that I can't hide from him like I prefer to do most of the time. "You alright? You're not in too much pain, are ya?"

"No, I'll be fine. Really, don't worry."

He exhales loudly again and his grip on the back of my neck tightens. "I always gotta worry about you," he says in a nice comforting way, but it still makes me wince hearing him say it out loud.

Darry's concern for me is refreshing. I grew up with an older brother who wasn't around very much and who would let my parents handle things. Darry was never the person I went to when I was hurt or upset either. He has never shown so much concern for me or spoken to me this way.

I do still know my brother though and I know the yelling is soon to come.

My eyes wonder over to Dally who is silently sitting back and watching. Darry's here now, so he should leave before the attacks come. The last thing I want is for Dally to witness Darry punishing me.

Darry tilts my chin up. "What happened?"

I gulp, deciding against lying. Darry is defiantly not in the mood to put up with it and he can always see right through me. Not to mention Dally's here and I still can't let Darry know Dally had something to do with me being here.

"Angela and I were playing a game and I decided to-"

"Jump out the window?"

I nod. That pretty much summed it up. "Sorta."

Darry's sharp gaze moves from me and to the corner of the room where Dally is sitting. "Why are you here?"

Dally loosely smirks. He may never admit he's scared of Darry, but I sense a bit of fear in Dally right now. Darry is a big guy, and he could end Dally in a matter of seconds. "For the free lollipops."

My heart beats fast when Darry doesn't respond right away. The nurses were going to have a fit if a fight suddenly breaks out in the room.

I clear my throat. "He drove me here. He came over to see where the boys were right when I fell."

Darry's gaze turns over to me and it sends a shiver down my spin. Dally may not admit he's afraid of Darry, but I'll always admit it. "You're a terrible liar, you know."

I swallow down my fears. "It's the truth. I swear."

It's then that I notice the look on Darry's face as he shines down Dally. Darry's annoyance isn't towards me. It's towards Dally, just like Dally knew it would be.

"I know you had something to do with this."

Dally puts his hands on his knees and jumps up. "I don't need this. It ain't my fault the little shit don't listen."

Darry takes a strong step towards him. "Don't call her that."

"Whatever, man."

"Can we talk outside?"

* * *

Darry and Dally stay out and talk for a good fifteen minutes. I can't hear much of what they say. When they built this hospital they really made sure these walls were sound proof. Every now and again I can see one or both of them walk by the window on the door a couple of times. By the look of things, and what I already knew, things are heated.

Eventually, as far as I can tell, Dally storms off.

Darry talks to my doctor soon after. Apparently it's a big deal to social services when a child is in the hospital and apparently it's very expensive to stay in the hospital overnight, at least that's what Darry would tell me. He does convince the doctor to discharge me. As far as social services go, Darry won't speak a word.

I lean my head against the window of Darry's truck as I watch him speak to the doctor one last time.

The throbbing in my head hasn't stopped. The doctor prescribed some pain medication that Darry promised to go get tomorrow once he gets paid. Until then, the simple over the counter stuff will have to do.

I shut my eyes and try not to think about money or social services or Darry. I try to relax, but a question in my head keeps demanding to be asked.

"Do you hate Dally now?"

Darry jumps into the truck and starts the engine. He mumbles out, "No."

That's the answer I was hoping for, but I was also hoping for an explanation or some sort of talk. Darry never likes to talk to Ponyboy and me about things. He leaves that job up to Soda.

I lick my chapped lips and try to put my mind at ease but it doesn't work. "You didn't have to yell at him so bad."

Darry knows I didn't hear a word they said, but from his body language I know that I'm not wrong about accusing him of yelling. I know my brother.

He runs his hand through his hair. "Listen, Dan, you're just barely fourteen. Dally shouldn't be hanging around you. You're too young. I don't want him influencing you."

I don't bring up the fact that Dally's be hanging around me since I was eight and so have the rest of my brother's friends. "What did you say to him?"

"What I just told you...and that I could kick his ass for this."

"It really wasn't his fault."

"Sure."

I sigh deeply and worry about this potentially ruining Darry and Dally's friendship. They couldn't just stop being friends because of something this stupid, could they?

I look at Darry and softly ask him, "Are you mad at him?"

"I will forever stay mad at Dally."

"Why?"

I expect Darry to smirk or shrug or do anything, but he remains calm and stationary. "Dally just does stupid shit he shouldn't get involved in. He doesn't think. He's just a stupid kid."

Dally isn't stupid though. He knows more about life and what's out there than Darry would possibly imagine.

"He's like my brother, Dan. I can't just throw him to the curb...no matter how many damn times I've had to bail that kid out of stuff. Dally ain't ever goin' to change."

"Dally's not a bad guy."

"Never said he was."

Somewhat satisfied with the answers Darry has given me, I let my eyes shut and my body rest. It's been a long day.

A short period later, I feel the truck stop but I can't force my eyes open so I can walk inside the house. I'll just sleep in the truck for the night. It's not terribly cold outside. I don't think it's supposed to snow tonight.

Something jerks me up and I let out grunts of dismay.

"Take it easy, kiddo," Darry whispers in my ear as he carries me to the door. "I got ya."

Sleeping in my own bed does sound a lot better than the truck.

* * *

Darry lets me stay home the next two days. The doctor recommended a week but missing school also doesn't look good when it comes to social services. I don't complain too much. I was honestly getting bored staying home alone in bed all day anyway.

Darry drives me to school and hands me my pills and tells me to call him if I feel sick. I know I won't call him even if I do feel sick because Darry could lose his job if he leaves early again. I just nod and wave goodbye and head up the steps of the school.

"Why haven't you been at school?" a voice behinds me asks in math class.

I know who it is right away. I know that voice by heart. I also know not to answer.

"Say?"

Marilyn has always had a way of making me feel vulnerable and weak whenever I'm around her. I always melt and break down to whatever she says to do. She has control over me and it's something I can't stop.

"I-I hit my head. I had to stay home."

She moves around my desk so she's standing in front of me. I try my hardest not to look up at her. If I look her in the eyes, I'll fall under her spell. She'll have full control over me.

"Do you wanna get ice cream after school with me?"

The question takes me off guard. I break down without thinking, and I look at her. Her beautiful blue eyes shine on me. They aren't in their devilish stage that makes me shake down to my toes. It's always been this way between us. Or it was when we were friends. She'd tell me what to do, what to wear, what to say, and I would do it. She was the boss of me and I went along with it for the longest time because having a friend like Marilyn was better than having none.

Angela may tell me what to do some times, but I still have a mind to tell her no when I want to. I don't have to suffer the repercussions like I would with Marilyn. Marilyn doesn't like to be told no. No one has ever told her no before.

I swallow, my voice almost shaking. "With _you_?"

"Is that a problem?"

I shake my head just as the bell for class to starts rings. "N-No. I don't think it is."

"Meet me out front at three, kay?"

What was I getting myself into? I just made a date with the devil herself. My childhood tormentor.

* * *

Just as promised, I meet Marilyn after school. Two-Bit was assigned to make sure I got home alright since he had a car and I was considered handicapped according to Darry. I quickly made up my best lie and he let me go. Darry wasn't going to be home until late anyway so he would never know that I didn't go straight home after school.

Marilyn is waiting for me outside of the school. She has a big smile on her face and as soon as I reach her, she locks her arm with mine. I almost pull away but her grip is too strong that it cuts the circulation off.

She skips off with me and I immediately feel captured. We're going for ice cream. Marilyn can't stop talking about it and how much she's missed me.

I feel like I'm the twilight zone. What is happening here?

Then a familiar feeling returns to me. This must be another joke. Any moment now, a bunch of Socs will appear and laugh at how easily I was fooled into thinking one of them was accepting of me. I was going to be the blunt of all their jokes, just like me and my friends and family have been for years.

Marilyn pays for the ice creams. I almost stop her, but my voice isn't there. I hate that she still thinks she has to pay for me, as if I'm some kind of charity for her. Let's help the poor orphan greaser girl. Maybe that's what this is all about. She'll go back and brag to her friends about what a good person she is.

I slowly eat my ice cream. Marilyn talks about nail polish and girls at school that she hates, which is a lot. I've stopped listening. I'm thinking of every excuse I can think of to get away from her and this so called date.

I open my mouth to tell her I need to leave, when she throws me a bomb: "Randy likes you."

My stomach turns. I feel vomit rising up my throat. This is a joke. A big fat joke. My mind can't wrap around what she's saying. Randy...likes_ me_?

She's lying.

"What?"

She rolls her eyes, throwing her spoon down dramatically. "Randy likes you. Jesus, am I speaking a different language today?"

I blink a few times, still trying to take this in. Randy has been nice to me ever since he moved here. Nicer than any Soc has been to me. Still, I'm sure he doesn't like me in the way Marilyn's referring too. He's figured out the rules by now. He was better off with someone like Marilyn.

"Do you like him?" she demands.

"Randy?"

"Damn. Yes Randy!"

This is her master plan. This is why she invited me for ice cream. She wants me to fall for this. She wants me to say yes and then everyone is going to jump out and laugh at me for being such a fool.

I swallow hard, not knowing what to say to her. I do like Randy. Randy is attractive. I just don't have a chance in the world with him and Marilyn knows this.

I stutter and choke on my words, "I don't know..."

"I know you do," she says bluntly. "Just say yes."

My hands turn into fists. My nervousness turns to anger as I'm getting tired of her telling me what to do. "What does it matter, Marilyn?"

She rolls her eyes dramatically again, making me tighten my fists. She's acting as if I'm some incompetent dog that won't learn how to stay. "Because if you like him, he'll take you out."

"Why?"

"Because that's what guys do."

She's wrong.

My teeth grind together. I try to control myself from lashing out at her. "That's not what Socs do with greasers."

She's at a loss for words for the first time. She watches me, expecting me to say something else, but I've made my point. Instead, I get up and stand over her.

"I have to get home. Sorry I couldn't be the clown you were trying to make me out to be."

I turn away from her, fully ready to walk out the door with my head held high knowing that I won this battle, when she calls after me, her voice soft. "Danni, I wasn't trying to make a joke."

My body jerks around back to her. "Do you think I'm that stupid that I would believe that you were being nice to me just because? That Randy would ever like someone like me?"

Again, I've left her speechless.

For the first time, I've won against Marilyn. I'm not going to be the joke here.

"In case you forgot, Marilyn, I'm a greaser. Socs and greasers don't go out."

* * *

After I get home I collapse in my bed. My meeting with Marilyn has drained me and my head is pounding again.

I drift off to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. I vaguely hear Soda come home and then Darry and the Ponyboy. I smell dinner cooking on the stove and I hear laughter between my brothers.

For the first time in a long time, I'm content. I wake up with a smile on my face knowing that things are good.

We're finally settling down to our new lives.

Things are looking up and I'm…..happy. Truly happy.

"Danni," Soda slowly opens my door, "someone's on the phone for you."

No one really ever calls me except for Angela. If it were Angela on the phone, Soda would have said. Who would call me at dinner time? No one calls at dinner time. It's like an unspoken commandment.

I follow Soda downstairs and he hands over the phone.

"Hello?"

"Danni, I want to talk to you."

"Who is this?"

"Randy."

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading. I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I'm still adjusting to college life and balancing writing. I hope I still have some fans and readers still out there! Reviews do help motivate updates :)

Anything you guys would like to see in this story? I'm still taking suggestions.


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